Yeah, if it wasn't obvious from my previous comment, Ironman is highly unadvised due to the risk of unrecoverable crashes/AI getting stuck (and any such cases being nigh-impossible to bug-track). In extreme cases, it might even lead to losing all progress, which can well be 50+ hours of gameplay.
As far as balance goes, I never reload myself, so the balance assumes you don't reload. I don't like Ironman's straightjacket (eg. you need to do a boogaloo to save some interesting situation 'for science'), it's much more comfortable to self-enforce it. But it's everyone's choice. If you feel you need to reload, dial down the diff level.
As for the Boom Gun, it works the same as other shotguns, with a bit better range than most, though. It's a solid weapon mostly because of brute force, 1 pellet is often enough to score a kill on an unarmored/lightly armored target.
As for Battleships, you naturally can expect to be trolled. It's supposed to be the hardest crash recovery in game. However, from mid game onwards, crew losses are pretty much irrelevant.
As for the Star Gods, you will run into them... eventually. When the dice roll favorably. The best strategy is to provoke a Crackdown. Three times less likely to get a chance at it once MSDF is in place.