Author Topic: Uber Piratey Squad Inaction (Collaborative AAR)  (Read 19689 times)

Offline howareyou32

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Re: Uber Piratey Squad Inaction (Collaborative AAR)
« Reply #30 on: June 21, 2019, 05:29:26 pm »

Offline The Think Tank

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Re: Uber Piratey Squad Inaction (Collaborative AAR)
« Reply #31 on: June 25, 2019, 03:22:38 am »
#######'s Log, Day 1, Month 5, Year ERRO

Well, when no one was looking I managed to sneak into the lab. Lots of various Pewtahs and other miscellaneous devices. I managed to hack into this Pewtah, well, hack being a loose term, they just left the Pewtahs on when they went to sleep, and I don't think anyone has a password for them, either. Anyways, I've been walking around  late at night, as the Hellerium-fueled generators make a very irritating 'whirr' noise under my bunk that I cannot seem to get any reasonable amount of sleep in. That's okay though, the less I sleep the better place of mind I get to when mak-

*** END LOG ***
"See you soon!"

#######'s Log, Day 2 Month 5, Year ERRO

Well, that was embarassing. I, uh, should probably talk about more important things, shouldn't I? Well, uh I have been watching the Gals, it isn't weird or anything I've just been...admiring them, that one short-haired Lass recently ditched her Chintin plates, saying something profound about the edges poking her "nether" regions.
I do like the new look, honestly. Plus I tried messing around with that SMG a few nights burns? It looks like the projectiles are a small casing filled with jelly-like fuel, but, uh, anyways, she's taken to twirling the thing around in the Evening, which unsettles me and the other Runts an awful lot, sometimes, she even does it on that weird stick of hers that she apparently gives a new name to every Sunday...strange.

This one also seems to of abandoned her Chintin plates, at least for the time being, something about needing to "drive closer" and hit them with her sword. I don't understand the implications of that, but she can definitely run faster without massive plates of shell obstructing her legs. That sword is something to behold though, weighs like an axe and hits with the precision of a Saber, I wouldn't want to be on the other side of that thing, for sure.

When I was down in the mess hall for an Atom Beer or two, and I saw this one sitting at the far edge of the room, watching some kind of grainy, black-and-white holofilms, I didn't see much of it, but the end result is clear. She took a liking to the new stock of Tommy Guns we got, supposedly from a man named Tommy. She kept demanding that we give her some smokes, but kept claiming that the ones we had were 'too small,' small or not, she certainly has a knack for swinging that thing around, sometimes one-handed. I'll keep my distance in the mess hall from now on, I think.

*** END LOG ***
"Have a nice day!"

#######'s Log, Day 15 Month 5, Year ERRO

Well, the Gals came back from a mission today, looking like they had seen a ghost. Turns out that wasn't quite true, but also not far from the actual truth...
After seeing what appeared to be one of these things "winking" at one of them, they high-tailed it out of there real quick.

Not all was lost today, however, the Gals successfully "liberated" a crackhouse, there was one survivor, but more importantly the drugs were all rescued.
Apparently one of the gals got a nasty bruise from one of their B-Boys hitting her with a uncouth, though I am sure she will walk it off by the Day's end.

Thankfully her pain is not in vain, we received a nice little compliment of beer and vodka, tonight we shall drink!

*** END LOG ***
"Remember the famous VooDoo chant: 'don't crash, please don't crash'"

#######'s Log, Day 30 Month 5, Year ERRO

The Gals went out for another mission today, something about putting down some nutty conspiracy theorists, I'm sure that no one will miss them, but it turned out that during the mission we got quite a good haul of any Pirate's most important basic ingredient...apples!
I've been considering what kind of beverages we could make with such delicate orchards, I only can hope that the Gals don't take all the apples before we can do anything productive with them.

Additionally, it turns out that this tinfoil inbreds actually carried some quirky firearms, distinguished by the unique 'PING!' they seem to make when empty on ammunition, though they certainly hit like a Mule on a hydrosled, so best keep your head away from the business end of that thing.

Note: These Ruffians have very nice bandanas, I wonder if no one would notice if I took a couple off their corpses? Ah well, I'll see as much tomorrow.

*** END LOG ***
str_closing_farewell_403 has encountered a Runtime error, please contact your Administrator or Technical support.

#######'s Log, Day 1 Month 6, Year ERRO

To answer the aforementioned question, yes, they did notice. I should of left after the 11th one, but I guess that's a lesson I will have to use later.

*** END LOG ***
"Remember that the grass is always greener on the other side!"

#######'s Log, Day 11 Month 6, Year ERRO

It has been pretty quiet as of late, but the Brainers came through with a new and innovative weapon one has called the "Long Range, Intermediate, Caliber .60, Assault Marksman Rifle, Self-Loading" but in truth, I just think it looks like a slightly better Musket, and even then...I think I'll just call it a Flintlock rifle, for now at least.

*** END LOG ***
"An Apple a Day Keeps the Doctor Away!"

#######'s Log, Day 17 Month 6, Year ERRO

Today we sent out the Gals again to free another Whore House, but for the first time some of our non-mutant Brethren accompanied them. One of the gals keep calling these Peasants her "butterflies" and seems to take to caring for them...kind of a nutter she is, but these Peasants certainly have dedication and a willingness to fight, so they may be useful after all.

Additionally, another mission we found some devices of interest, we are plenty accustomed to Laser weapons, especially since they've been used industrially around these parts for years, but this one we found seems to be a whole 'nother caliber of Laser Weapon entirely, vastly outperforming anything we presently have in both accuracy, firepower, and versatility.
It is a shame the ammunition is harder to come by than pretty much anything else we have, and no one can or will sell us any ammunition for it. So I guess as of now it will have to sit around collecting dust, though I hope that this will promptly change.

*** END LOG ***
"Remember, loose lips might sink ships."

#######'s Log, Day 21 Month 6, Year ERRO

Well, that crazy "butterfly" Gal I was mentioning earlier finally gave themselves a fancy, and somewhat pretentious, name and started talking about how they were "destined" to lead a great Army of butterflies like "Yaleckzender the Great," I'm not sure how much I believe the legend of this supposed Yaleckzender, much less that she can do anything remotely comparable to his legend, but I guess time will ultimately tell.

Matching the insanity of the Lord of Flies, we finally got a secure connection with the notorious Krazy Hanna, though the term 'secure' may not be fitting, in the least bit because she sent her security detail of botch-job machines and machinations to deal with us in a less-than-diplomatic fashion. However, thankfully one of the Gals was able to calm the frustrated Hanna and convey that we wanted to buy some of her devices. While it calmed her down, I'm not sure if a prolonged business relationship with this Hanna is a wise idea for our continued health and integrated body matter, but there is no denying the scale and utility of the ordnance she offered for sale.


*** END LOG ***
"♪ Praise be the Glorious Leader and his infinite wisdom ♫"

#######'s Log, Day 23 Month 6, Year ERRO

We came across a small Academy Vessel that had foolishly decided to land, the Brainers suspect they were trying to refuel and rearm but considering the craft touched down in the middle of some desolate and Gods-forsaken farm, I find that hard to believe.
The first two Gals to leave our little craft were carrying brand-new Light Machine Guns, the paint still fresh from one of Krazy Hanna's large autonomous production contraptions. The darted to a small fence and used it to lay up their weapons, which provided awesome firepower. They were supposed to suppress the enemies directly to our front but they killed them instead, so I guess that works too. Immediately after them followed Lord of Flies and Supreme Lord of All Good And Evil Madame Skeleton (yes, I am being facetious) who chugged away two rounds into Academy Snipers holed up in one of the farm houses. Sweet Phoenix decided to follow their lead and with a distinctive 'thump' fired an Acid-laced cannonball, and no, I do not mean the good kind of acid.
I'm sure that somewhere and at some time this could be considered a War Crime, but unfortunately for the Academy, they weren't around to sign the 'Placebo Convention' nullifying any complaints they might have, though then again, none of this craft's crew made it back, so who says the Academy is any the wiser?
If the Academy asks, it was a freak particle-accelerated lightning strike.

*** END LOG ***
"The glass is twice as big as it needs to be"

#######'s Log, Day 30 Month 6, Year ERRO

Things have been relatively calm at the base...sure, there's been a fair share of looting, plundering and other pleasantries which might be less savory to discuss around some people, but there have been no large breakthroughs for a while, that is, until yesterday where we finally broke the code to our crippling poverty...
I asked one of the Brainers about how this would improve our current situation, she followed up by sending me a brief looping holofilm of some red clawed creature proclaiming a love of money, suffice to say, I think I understand her point better now. Notwithstanding all the dosh we make from this fine drink, but I managed to take one or two of these babies off the registry to save for a rainy day, though of course we cannot really tell the weather while sitting underneath a gigantic hill in the middle of nowhere, but I digress.

Furthermore, one of the Brainers finally completed a pet-project of theirs, combining gears and actuators with the functionality of a musket, it is a very strange contraption and I am not sure if it has much of a use at this present moment, but certainly I am sure one of the Gals would love to use this as a more "sporting" duel pistol, though I think having an automatic dueling pistol counts as cheating and bad form, though I guess it doesn't matter if the only one who can complain now has three large incisions in his (or her) chest with an acute case of lead poisoning.

Well, for now I'm going to lie low for a bit, I think some of the other Gals have been wandering around lately, and Lord of Flies' Peasants seem to patrol the corridors late at night, thwacking anyone around with those large sticks of theirs, I guess they have to train in hand-to-hand combat somehow.

*** END LOG ***
"Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more..."

- The Following Entries Are Empty, Return to OS? -
                    = Y / N =
« Last Edit: June 25, 2019, 06:07:59 am by The Think Tank »

Offline Marza

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Re: Uber Piratey Squad Inaction (Collaborative AAR)
« Reply #32 on: June 28, 2019, 02:12:29 am »
1st July
This is my story. I’ve been ditched in a holding cell for days, perhaps even weeks. There are others like me down here, discarded like a pile of garbage. Today turned out differently though, as a group of ‘lil runts brought myself and others out of the cells.
We were given a choice. We could either walk out, work an honest job for honest wages in this pirate hideout, or join the crew. A deal was made and we got our first decent meal in ages.

Part way through the Captain with fiery red hair bursts in. She scolds a bunch of runts for not properly cleaning up after their last gambling session and to get rid of the useless trophies lying about the place. She tells us how we ‘need to be more offensive’, calls us a bunch of dweebs, then leaves. Some runts look at each other and shrug, but at the end of the day a collection of tribal weapons and terrible guns are sold off, six smelly rags get disposed of (why did we have these?), some piles of junk get processed and an order for a hundred black powder bombs is placed.


Barrack space for more runts. We're abandoning the chokepoint idea. Hope you suckers can play an assertive base defence!


Personal labs get full priority.
Research goals:
Highway house
Improvised aerial explosives (for quadcannon)
Shadowmasters (for golden hawk)
Medical supplies


Convert a plantation to a hangar, so the airbus can use it to hop into Australia ASAP. Some more plantations and prisons (not shown) get dropped down.

We're awash for cold hard cash and the Captain strong arms the decision to buy a new car. She instructs the runts that we 'need to be more offensive' and that they are to bolt dual 25mm cannons to it. We'll have a ramshackle car with enough firepower to level a small village. Madness! This is going to be my new home.

As for us new arrivals? There's three of us altogether and the Captain has told us we'll be set to work immediately to prove our worth.

Scratchy Thug will be my avatar, as befits the gal with arguably the worst stats. Look at that stamina and bravery! One small alteration however...

Much better.

There’s a ratman village some hours away. The three of us are sent there to prove our loyalties, whilst being observed by two veterans. Rockin Hammer and Pretty Melissa deck out in barbarian armour with shields and sawn offs, whilst all I get is a stupid outfit, a pistol and some ancient black powder explosives. Hammer and Melissa soon get to work in direct assaults, blasting ratmen away at close range. Meanwhile, Evil Gun sets up a firing position from behind her machine gun and tac vest. Our dog tracks targets to pursue, but is put down with a double barrel shotgun. I suddenly lose the mood to run around corners and risk a ratman reaction, so I just flatten the place (and some unfortunate ratties) with explosions. The mission ends without trouble, although Evil Gun does receive a single dog bite. She takes two days off because of it. In the end we capture three ratmen, including their leader, as well as a dog.

Dog sniffs two targets, but a brigand out of sniff range reacts with a double barrel shotgun. Never go around corners with low TU!

Black powder bombs, like grenades, can be thrown at targets hiding behind hard cover and open up new firing lines for Evil Gun. Evil Gun is decked out in a tac vest and wheeled machine gun and is positioned at range. She can tank whatever the ratmen can throw at her, assuming anything hits her.

3rd July
Radar runt got chewed out today. A radar contact is spotted in the area, but after flying up close with the car, it turns out to be a combine harvester. There’s not a lot of money to be made in agriculture equipment and hostage farmers, so we leave them alone and spare the 25mm ammo.

4th July
Radar runt got chewed out today. After flying close enough we see that it’s a police car on patrol. A low value target that shoots back! We leave them well enough alone.

Later that day:
Distress call in the Sahara desert! It’s the trade guild. We don’t know how they ended up in that situation, but we do know they’re close to home and an easy target. The Captain assigns a mostly veteran crew to ‘help them out of the desert’. After a short mission they bag some prisoners, including a sailor.

MvP goes to Floggin Azura for dropping targets with the heavy shotgun and running about punching out captives. In a desert. In scale armour.

Later that day, again:
Captain informs us that Jack has invited us to an aircar race to Memory of Earth, in Steel Pact territory. Some of the gals immediately make a break for the aircar. Radar runt giggles quietly to herself. After a quick chat, she tells me that Steel Pact is in ol' South America and that the ramshackle aircar we have doesn't stand a chance of making it there in time.

5th July
Radar runt got chewed out today. She found the combine harvester again. This time it lands, so the Captain puts together a crew to make sure it never flies onto the radar screen ever again. ‘Just tryna do ‘muh job’, radar runt mutters.

Disembark turn 1 and make a dash for the close by combine. Coconut Maiden eats a reaction harpoon from the drivers canopy. Moderate wounds.
The brainers retool their work and drag prisoners into the lab wholesale. We've ran out of prison space entirely now.

11th July
The Captain got word of another uber gal in captivity. Again, she says that we ‘need to be more offensive’, so she elects to get involved in this one. We take the bus and put down directly at the address to spring the captive. After a curt volley of fire, we storm the place. The Captain leads the way and ends up punching two tough guys unconscious.

Landed right at the place!

Magic Skeleton and Floggin Azura have very good stats at this point.

12th July
We pay the Trader's Guild a visit. The target is small warehouse in the desert nearby. Evil Gun positions herself on a nearby hill whilst everyone else stacks up against the warehouse walls, before launching the assault. We blow up the fence with a black powder bomb and chuck some more at the guards inside the compound. The prisons are still completely full, but it's the contents of the warehouse we're after, not the people.

Clean sweep.

Evil gun is allowed to reaction fire at her leisure with the wheeled MG. Floggin Azura continues to punch people. Can anyone stop her?

Later that day:
Captain informs us that a local government has offered us a contract to extract one of their agents. Only problem is that the client is based in the Death Realms of ol' Australia. Radar runt crunches some numbers and tells us we can't even make it there.

13th July.
Radar runt doesn’t get chewed out today. We take the car to shoot down a paradizo cloudcar. Easy pickings!

18th July.
The Academy are broadcasting an SOS from the Himalayas. The prisons are overflowing still and it’s too cold to run around and simply handle everyone. The Captain tells us to pacify any resistance and pick through their belongings instead. The Captain and Evil Gun swap out and Sweet Phoenix and 'some other dweeb' are cycled in their place. Sweet Phoenix's weapon of choice turns out to be an assault cannon, which she used to chuck pyro cannonballs about with reckless abandon. Something about trying to keep us warm whilst we work in the mountains.

u wot. How did you survive a direct hit?


19th July
The Captain commissions a new hideout in North America, justifying it by saying ‘we need to be more offensive’. From what I’ve heard it’s just a run down hole-in-the-ground that grows cash crops. Probably should have done this at the start of the month, but I don't tell the Captain that. I don't want to get chewed out. That's radar runt's role, to be in the barrel.

Doesn't look like much now, but one day...

21st July
Radar runt doesn’t get chewed out today. The car forces a civilian airbus to land. We park our bus nearby to ‘assist’. Easy money!

22nd July
Legionite is finally back, having recovered from her injuries. She’s decked out in some new metal armour that the brainers and runts have slapped together. Her first action is to grab her sword, grab some gals with barbarian shields and scale mail, and take them to clear out a rat infested cellar. They’re an odd bunch to look at, with their antiquated armour and semi automatic pistols.

This is a cakewalk. No problem.

Later that night, the same group fly off after the Captain assigns them to pick up another uber gal captive. Apparently this one is in the hands of some tribal savages. They come back empty handed however, saying they had no luck in finding the captive. Something doesn’t add up here.

Back in the bus, we out.

Even later, somewhere in the Kingdom of Canada, we raid a Church of Sirius. The Captain attends in person to make up for the flop that was last mission. It’s slow, slow work sweeping through the residential area, but the team subdues almost everyone there for excellent ransom money. A couple of neophytes were dropped at range with rifle fire as they carried a heavy shotgun and a Molotov.

The Church of Sirius and the endless chain link fences of madness.

29th July
The brainers take the ‘we need to be more offensive’ mantra to heart and have instructed the runts on how to put the prisoners to work. Whilst it helps to reduce the prison population and gives the prisoners a safe ‘occupation’, I don’t think this is quite what the Captain had in mind. Either way I’m happy I joined the crew as a fighter before they dreamed up this idea.

Are we the baddies?

31st July
Well, that's the first month with this group of pirates. The Captain seems quite pleased with the progress made this month. Hopefully our fortune will last.

Modest success! I'm well on the way to grabbing the library and maybe even Back to School. I've still got prisoners to interrogate to hopefully grab Shadowmasters. I want to get a Golden Hawk working in the airgame and retire the aircar.

((I'll post August either tomorrow or Saturday. Stay tuned because someone in the crew outright dies. Fun!))
« Last Edit: June 28, 2019, 03:16:53 am by Marza »

Offline Marza

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Re: Uber Piratey Squad Inaction (Collaborative AAR)
« Reply #33 on: July 08, 2019, 03:05:57 am »
Over one week later:

1st August
It is midnight right now and the runts decide that it would be a fantastic idea to throw a party... this very instant. There’s a bunch of them in the mess hall gambling away some of our ill gotten gains. There’s going to be a lot of old tat to be dumped after this is all done, don’t the runts know that the house always wins?

Library money.

Later that day:
Another contact on the radar screen, another pair of schmuck civilians that get reported as missing. They won’t stay here long, we’ll pack them off safely home as soon as we get the ransom money. Some of the gals are going in the car to pick them up whilst the airbus sets a course for Red Revolution, in ol’ South America. We got a church to raid too!

The Church of Sirius and the endless wood panel fences of madness.

3rd Aug
Brainers are up to something. They’re saying that they really have our own safety and interests at heart and that if we ever feel hurt or sad, that we should go to them for help. I don’t trust ‘em for a moment. Never trust a brainer. Especially if they offer you a lollipop.

Prioritising the sickbay.

4th Aug
Radar runt picks up a radio transmission! Smells like a trap though, we’re gonna leave this one alone and save ourselves for any big game. There’s been a lot of fast movers flying circuits in our airspace and we intend to check that out. They’re not civvy targets either, so we’ve got to be ready to seize any opportunities that come our way.

I must have seen this screen hundreds of times over the past years and it’s only now do I recognise the silhouette of the Golden Hawk staring me in the face.

This guy is flying over N Africa. Some mid tier mission has been launched and I want to grab a landed ship if I get the chance.

Later that day:
The truth is out there apparently. Some of us are gonna go and grab a few more guns for our collection, not that we need more pieces of scrap that passes for guns. Another team will be gearing up to flush out some traitors of the Mutant Alliance, in exchange for their favour. I think we’re just doing it for the thrill of it myself. If we keep this up we’re gonna end up owing more and more to the Mutant Alliance, so I hope they’re prepared to pay a decent sum for our services.

There’s a dog in this screenshot somewhere. It’s been introduced to the world of black powder bombs.

9th Aug
Radar Runt is really excited today. She’s gotten word from our second hideout that the place is swarming with bandit activity. Rumour is they’re looking for something. One of the gals transfers over with the car to ‘persuade’ them to keep their noses out of our business.

There’s a lot of them, sire.

Later that day:
We’ve been contracted by a local government. An easy ‘get in, get out’ job, to extract one of their guys in return for some okay coin and I’ll be tagging along. Another team handles a contract from Jack to bust up some fool smuggler afterwards. The Captain will be personally overseeing that one. She’s actin’ funny, but I don’t know why. I’ll think about it when I get back, the airbus will be taking off in a bit. Excuse me while I kiss the sky.

I will keep using black powder bombs for no good reason.

Am I happy, or in misery?
What ever it is, that girl put a spell on me.

16th Aug
Brainers are really up to something sketchy.

Throwing all the brainers at the Hawk.

19th Aug
That Trader’s Guild fool pilot crashed his shipping somewhere in the Kingdom of Canada. The Captain rounds up a few gals to ‘rescue’ them.

21st Aug
The Mutant Alliance has offered another contract. I knew they’d come back, we’re not gonna hear the end of this. At least this time they’re paying up a more substantial reward. Just gotta get in, get out and not get caught. Let’s go bag a high value target for them.
We can see the target at his escape car! Why hasn’t he taken off yet? No matter, he knows we’re coming and he’s holed up in a defensive position. We’re gonna wait him out and let him crack under pressure. He must know he’s a dead man if he doesn’t leave the city right now, so he’s bound to make a mistake. His last mistake.

Yeah, we’re just surrounding the tower and breaking LOS until the mage paths off down to the ground floor. A civvy half uber has the same idea, but elects to stand in the open. I promote him to the role of magnum round bearer.

Just as planned.
Ok, we’ve bagged the man, let’s clean up the others and head on home. This is a cake walk; they’re all stuck in their escape craft. We can easily knock them out and pick them off one by one.


Yeh nah, let's use this instead.

I lost a bomb! Do you have it?

Pretty Melissa is slapped with one of these, for good reason.

22nd Aug
Thinky is finally out of sick leave and tags along with us to visit a watchtower. It’s the first time we’ve properly met, since she has been hiding in her room ever since I arrived in the hideout. What the hell is she carrying though?

Snek Thinky, Lord of Flies, Juggler of rifles. Enough rifle rounds to outfit a platoon. I’ll keep the loadout as is for fun.

Map generation almost cans the mission.

Thinky’s first kill since rejoining the ranks.

23rd Aug
Brainers are up to something. Again. Every single one of them have teamed up to work on something. I wonder what they’re up to? No matter, there's a military fighter craft on patrol in our airspace which is more of a concern right now.

A large shipping skulks around not long after, but is too fast for the aircar to get an ID on it. I have a good idea what it could be and that there will be a big mess to clear up.

28th Aug
There’s been the sounds of explosions from both the workshops and the hangars today. Now the runts are helping the brainers with their strange ideas! On the plus side, our brand new Golden Hawk has been kitted out with something that’ll allow us to pick on something harder than a civvy target.

Quadcannons, the hawk and hellerium researched. Nice. We’re working our way into the airgame.

29th Aug
A little Paradizo cloudcar has put down not far from our hideout. The Captain picks three of us to join her to go on what must be the last mission this month. For some reason I’m picked to go. Whatever.

Of course this patch of sahara is pink desert. Looks like the end of this month will be nice and stress free.

31st Aug
Last day. There’s a large shipping skulking about, but apart from that this day is really quiet. Roll on the next month!

Later that day:
Oh, bugger.
« Last Edit: July 08, 2019, 09:38:25 pm by Marza »

Offline Marza

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Re: Uber Piratey Squad Inaction (Collaborative AAR)
« Reply #34 on: July 08, 2019, 09:53:24 pm »
It’s not freelance. I’m tempted to try and delay the mission so that Dio can pick it up as the very first mission he has to do for his tenure, but I’ve got another idea in mind. I’m going to break character for this and give an overview of the first full blown pogrom instead, since that’s probably more interesting. It’s big game hunting time, let’s go!
To make things interesting, let's take the four avatars.

Turn 1

Hello RPG raider thug. Let’s not disembark turn 1, or do anything at all really. We spawn close to the north western corner.

Turn 2

Magic Skeleton sabers the RPG raider thug, Legionite cuts down an autolaser toting humongous and Madame Marza black powders a reaper. We run out of targets for Thinky’s LMG. Break LOS.

Turn 3

Legionite took a las pistol reaction running to cover in a building. Floggin Azura accompanies them to aid. There was a buzzard here once. Skeleton and Thinky tag team make sure they’re gone now.

Turn 4

Civvies start dying wholesale to laser blasts off screen, so we only have a turn or two to enjoy raiders with reduced reaction TUs. Another buzzard, armed with a lasgun, flies to a spot near where their former buzzard friend died. Thinky drops them, Skeleton is ready with an ol’ rifle. Skeleton heals the fatal wounds of the RPG raider thug we saw on turn 1. He’ll be coming home with us for sure.

Turn 5

3 raiders with las weapons. Thinky takes a reaction after the closest raider thug survives the LMG volley.

Turn 6

We meet again. The thug is distracted and looks into the shop window, whilst Thinky reduces him to chunky salsa with the LMG.

Legionite KO’s the Raider Boss with her hands. This car park is in the middle of the map and offers a decent view to almost everywhere else. Of course that means everywhere else has a decent view of this car park, so we consolidate for now until I’ve knocked more holes in the enemy lines. This storage room is a good place to hunker down, with the autodoor and crates blocks LoS from the windows as well as preventing any 2x2 units from properly entering.

Turn 7

Sweet phoenix drops a third buzzard (weakened from turn 3 from Madame’s blackpowder bomb). Enough raiders have been put down for me to think about taking some map corners. Madame and Skeleton link up in the warehouse to the west in preparation to sweep and clear the south west corner. Sweet Phoenix and Thinky take the north west corner. Legionite and Floggin Azura consolidate in the parking lot.

Turn 8

Magic Skeleton tags a couple of scouts with a black powder bomb. A second from Madame puts them down for sure.

Next turns are mop up, sweeping each building for the last handful of raiders. Skeleton cuts down an assault laser wielding thug with a saber, legionite punches out a raider scout. Floggin Azura duels a thug who is armed with a cannister launcher. Azura's heavy shotgun struggles to inflict damage. The duel lasts a few turns, long enough to move Thinky from the north west map corner down to the southern edge.

Since Thinky is gonna be in our newly constructed medbay for some time, they get some fancy kills in. LMG full auto at close range. The volley even knocks the lamia to the north unconscious.

Turn 13

Unlucky for some. I get complacent and lazy in the closing turns, splitting up the gals to hunt down the last raider. Floggin Azura ends the turn about 6 cells from the lasgun wielding thug. Autofire does the rest and Azura kisses the concrete floor.

Turn 14

He’s getting special treatment for that stunt. Skeleton punches them out.


Bunch of laser weapons and eight hellerium grenades. One scout, two thugs and the boss. No Buzzard or Humongous captives.

Silver lining to being confined to a bed for 15 days. (Legionite is in for 14, despite suffering significantly less injury)

Typical. On one of the last turns, of the last mission on literally the last day of my shift, I get greedy and this happens. Floggin Azura accomplished much over the past two months by supporting newly hired hands and sprinting about knocking people out with either her fists or her heavy shotgun.

Wrap up

Currently the brainers are prioritising tactical body armour. Airgame is still in its infancy and we're mostly restricted to tagging civilian shipping. Very little funding was budgeted towards the airgame as no radars have been built (barring the outpost in the third base, but that doesn't really count) and the only additions to the fleet are an Aircar with twin 25mm cannons and a Golden hawk with a quadcannon. Most of the budget went to expanding brainer capacity, the library, sickbay, extra barracks and plantation spam in base 3. I suffered a brain fart when placing the sickbay and accidently built it over the corridor next to the access lift, instead of over the barracks just south of the burrows. Any hideout defence missions will have one guy on the far left flank causing mischief, but I'm sure you can handle it.

Fun fact:

Madame Marza killed 8 with black powder bombs in these two months. I haven't counted the total kill count due to black powders across the entire team, but it's sizeable. Turns out they're not completely awful.
« Last Edit: July 08, 2019, 11:02:20 pm by Marza »

Offline Dioxine

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Re: Uber Piratey Squad Inaction (Collaborative AAR)
« Reply #35 on: July 17, 2019, 02:39:48 pm »
(New, Improved) Captain's Log, 1 Sep 2061, 0331

My coup has succeeded. While our Glorious Leader had been sleeping, boozed out of her mind, I gathered the Gals in the mess hall and announced that her leadership up to this point has been shitty, and Major Changes Are Needed. The pheromone dispenser of my own design made sure to raise the neccessary approval, while the hasty repair of TV network that has been "mysteriously malfunctioning" surely will reinforce it. I also cut deals with the spies of Govts, Mutant Alliance and Jack - it had been easy to identify them with my FULL AND UNCUT access to hideout's surveillance network. Now they will keep quiet and support me in exchange for keeping their cover safe. Viva la Democracy! (Of course I will keep the fool captain in illusion she's still in charge). But what has led me to this point?

Ineptitude, and crushing boredom! Eight months ago I had been floating freely in the coziness of a space station, contemplating new and exciting binary chemical agents, before taking a chance to ditch that golden cage when a highly mysterious spaceship just happened to drift by. And thus, along with my two companions, I ended up in the Paleolithic, literally and figuratively. Only to be driven hard by that "dweeb" of a Captain to bring up the planetside living conditions to the modern standards. Surely, the dirtball dwellers we have been copying have been good at solving problems - that living on the dirtball creates in the first place! Though I must say, I appreciate the whole idea of clothing for once - it allows for self-expression so it might be not totally useless in space like I thought. Also the diversity of instruments devised by them with the sole purpose of doing bad things to others is impressive in its own right.

Thus I decided to strike a deal with the... amply called... Coconut Maiden and replace her in the fighting crew (she will surely make a good scientist, she is mad enough), and to prepare this little coup. These harlots lack VISION! I was tired with hastily walking us back from Stone Age to Space Age (with all the intermediate steps in between). There must be reason for it all, a reason better than just getting rich, and one night I had a vision - a vision which made me understand everything, like I was hit with a diamond bullet between the eyes: WE WERE MADE TO RULE THE UNIVERSE. This is a mission I must dedicate myself to, and it requires of me to be present on the frontlines. So away we go! I have the power now, and infinity lies before me and beyond. Nothing can oppose my plans, bwahahaha!

Also, some asshole hid flamethrower fuel from buy list. What the fuck.

(New, Improved) Captain, Dioxine Rena

(New, Improved) Captain's Log, 2 Sep 2601, 1635

The Molester (that's how the Golden Hawk was named) shot down a civvie traffic. While I was preparing the crew for a night raid, that idiot Sizzling Striker took the Aircar and decided to take on the civvies all by herself, with no weapons. She returned with a NERF lasgun, Elvenstone and several IGun holes in her butt. Great job.

(New, Improved) Captain's Log, 2 Sep 2601, 1910
It had to be my genius after all, as soon after we got a distress call from some Church party. So we went to rescue them, of course! Sadly, my advanced tactics require more troops than just six, and nobody got that contact on better ships yet (save for the golden interceptor  I called The Molester, which is next to useless). Long story short, crazed Pere Kryl in Savage outfit beaten up half the enemies all by herself, but at the end got flanked by a Church Matron hiding in the bush and bled out before the help arrived. Lasers are not supposed to cause so much bleeding, dammit! Worse still, I got nicked by a small callibre bullet so I won't be leading in person for a while. Drats!

(New, Improved) Captain's Log, 5 Sep 2601, 1330
Bombers still fly around. This makes me nervous. On research front, we can finally start works on Tactical Armor.

(New, Improved) Captain's Log, 5 Sep 2601, 1901
Watchtower mission in Europe. We captured 4 so-called Academicians. I ordered these wenches immediately stripped of no-longer-theirs belongings and put to work. For Science! Also, the prisons are friggin' overflowing. I need to clear them up on general principle.

(New, Improved) Captain's Log, 6 Sep 2601, 0230
Ratman Rodeo in New Mexico! I'm so disappointed I can't take part in this mercy killing due to my injuries! I ordered the gals decked in new chainmail, and old metal armor, and off they go, once the dawn breaks.

Captain's Log, 6 Sep, 1430
The gals had as much fun as I expected. Killed like 8 or so of these midgets and a dog immediately after stepping out of the (so-called) transport. Melissa got some superficial damage from their leader, who charged us with his SMG. Marza took him alive for ransoming. A short hunt for the remaining dog commenced and it was over. Not much loot, just some sectoweed.

Captain's Log, 6 Sep, 2300
More prey escaping my grasp due to no good radars. Drats!

Captain's Log, 7 Sep, 0230
...Or not. We chased a bandit vessel the whole way to the Dark Dominion and shot it down in a flurry of cannonfire. A squad was send to mop them up. Which went fast enough, only the new gal, Gapin' Reaper, was a bit too eager to prove herself. She did prove herself, but ended up with several BM pistol rounds in her back. She went to prison, 2 Highwaymen to treasury, and another $100k fattened our hospital. Or something like that.

Captain's Log, 7 Sep, 1600
My Turtle finally arrived. I hired some peasants as our current crew is even too small to fill it!

Captain's Log, 8 Sep, 1840
The story repeated itself almost to a detail, only this time the bandit car was painted blue. I heard these bandits call themselves "Megapol". The difference is, I was finally able to participate myself. Also took peasants to fill up the crew. They're so untrained! And their tits are so freaking huge, how comes?!
We attacked in the morning and took all 3 of these yiffs hostage. Dammit their skulls are hard, I hurt my hand hitting one with a wooden peg leg.
Also I sent all new Peasants for Militia Training.
And the old ones too.

Captain's Log, 9 Sep, 2200
Somewhere in Nevada, a secret Guild Warehouse is said to exist! Of course, I had to go. Under the cover of darkness, naturally.

Captain's Log, 10 Sep, 0100
And Somewhere in Kalahari, a secret Academy laboratory! Hnnngg I can't wait to capture them and have my way with them, For Science! But first come, first served, so Traders come first.

Captain's Log, 10 Sep, 0633
Warehouse mission went smoothly, if slowly, albeit I feel my hand hurting again from trying to knock out a Guild security guy. I succeeded! I also did an awful lot of running, healing and shooting incendiary bow arrows. Now I hurt all over, but I feel more fit than ever before! We captured most of Guild personnel, with notable exception of their supervisor who tried to jump Strappin' Cordite in the dark and got a proverbial faceful of buckshot from her sawed-off. I ordered Runts to quickly integrate them into our slave-town as prison will be needed for my favorite Academy prisoners!
« Last Edit: July 17, 2019, 06:12:33 pm by Dioxine »

Offline Dioxine

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Re: Uber Piratey Squad Inaction (Collaborative AAR)
« Reply #36 on: July 17, 2019, 02:40:47 pm »
Captain's Log, 10 Sep, 1350
Something REALLY BIG is flying over Sahara, no doubt looking for us. The 'dweeb' surely made someone angry. Hell I want such a craft for myself, now!
Meanwhile, we're charging the Turtle up for the upcoming night raid. I had not time for R&R at the base, but the Turtle is fully equipped with creature comforts for long, boring flights. I'm sure a mind as brilliant and perverted as mine will find something obscene for the gals to do in the meantime (so I could catch some sleep in the back bunk while they're busy).

Captain's Log, 11 Sep, 0010
We landed in Kalahari... or rather, in an oasis, just like back in Nevada. I smell more apples, and also a prolonged hunt across the whole village. But the gals excel at close quarters combat.
I immediately caught myself first Academician. She fell to a single swing, how weak is their science indeed!
Melissa mowed down one unmindful "Researcher" wandering into her Machinegun's field of fire. She was also shot at by a lazor drone (yes that is a correct pronounciation). I fired off some arrows, shedding some light at the situation. The drone was immediately machinegunned as well, while Marza sniped an Osiron. Then Chloe moved her cannon to a vantage point. We were all set now.
Soon Academy cohorts were falling to reaction fire, while I ran to change arrows to poisonous ones for captures.
Next stage was storming the complex. With my intrepid assistant, Marza, we caught ourselves an Academy Medic. Then Phoenix KO'ed last academician, hiding in a nice house, and that was it!

Captain's Log, 11 Sep, 0300
However, ANOTHER Guild warehouse was found, this time in New Guinea, when we were on our way back. No rest for the wicked!

Captain's Log, 11 Sep, 1650
Meteorology prediction was wrong again, but I'm not complaining - it's nicely warm, not sweaty hot, and we landed on some sort of a farm again.
While we were advancing, a Supervisor shot me from the dark, closely missing. I llluminated him in return. By setting him on fire with an arrow. He berserked in my general direction, but Phoenix already had him in her sights and put him out - of his misery.
Cordite stormed the compound, felling GOs with her gauntlet. Chainmail is cumbersome though, so she had a quick beer to restore her fighting spirits. Hammer was advancing right behind her, Hawk and Melissa in third wave. They spotted a wounded guard, who was trying to rush Cordite. She slapped his shotgun away and punched him several times in the chest. The guy somehow remained in vertical position, until Hawk clubbed him down. Melissa tended to his wounds. Like a well-oiled, busty... machine.
Meanwhile, in the huge orchard, we spotted a girl in orange overalls. Someone shot at her, missed, but I was there to run up and club her down! Such an exhilarating feeling.
Soon the gals finished with the warehouse too; the last guard was resisting, which got him a savage beating with gauntlets and a Spikey.

Captain's Log, 12 Sep, 1320
The Molester, piloted by Saucy Saker, shot down a Combine Harvester, because why the hell not. I also felt I could deck up like a combat gal, so I did. Hell if doesn't feel good being so swole and tight! One more reason I was right with joining the combat forces.
Well it took us some hide-and seek, evil grass wasn't helping, and we had to kill one labourer who decided to command the whole battlefield from his vantage point atop of the harvester. To hell with him, I have no time for such details.

Captain's Log, 14 Sep, 0000
Researching gun almanachs gave an interesting result.

Captain's Log, 14 Sep, 0500
I ordered recruitment of the "Freak" that was being held in our cells. We have one more, and a Young Impressionable Uber, by the way. I plan to pull them all from the prison soon, the prison space doesn't grow on trees and Turtle is not up to full crew yet. Anyway the freak turned out to be a freaking good shot.

Captain's Log, 15 Sep, 0000
Tactical armor is finally researched. Not like we have much Aqua Plastics to make it. Much more importantly, Overcharged Radars have been developed too, I ordered their construction immediately. How the "dweeb" could run this project while being half-blind is beyond me! Sadly it will take some time for the radars to come online... but not nearly as much as if someone dumber was in my place! Repurposing old Barracks will allow it to be much more rapid! And right on cue, Legion Farm finished the Burrows I ordered so the same can be done there. Only Port Opportunity will have to wait full 25 days. Finding the money was a bit more tricky, but the stack of 20 Slave AIs were quite useless, as well as some other trinkets, and in the end I still had a $500k surplus.
I nudged the research towards Persuasion. Without it, that damned Esper is resisting even the most enthusiastics attempts to open up to our limitless love!

Captain's Log, 15 Sep, 0732
Radar spotted something slow and suspicious in China. I'm sending over Sky Admiral Dweeb in her aircar and admiral uniform to intercept.

Captain's Log, 15 Sep, 0948
Yep, it's the ratmen. There might be more of them, sending The Molester (with Saker) to patrol.

Captain's Log, 15 Sep, 1305
Nothing was found. Calling off the search.

Captain's Log, 17 Sep, 0755
Intercepted a new contact in Europe. A Runabout. The Molester took it down. Preparing to attack, will put our new Tactical Armors to a good use. I ordered equipping more machineguns, rifles, and gave Onion the Magnum. With Legionite and Lord of the Flies back from hospital, we're at full strength. What can go wrong?

Captain's Log, 17 Sep, 0835
We're greeted by glowing fields of Uber Wheat, and the enemy craft is just within reach. Is this a dream?
The first enemy we see is not even from any big Faction. What are they doing here, flying a Faction craft? This is getting interesting...
Legionite had a close run in with one of the goons when she was storming the craft. She ended up with some blood on her, the guy ended up dead. But beside some new scars, she also found something rather savory...
In the end, we captured 3 goons, and the score speaks for itself. I think I should stop writing for now, not to break the spell.

Captain's Log, 17 Sep, 2219
We brought down one more of these Bandit ships (of the red variety) over Sicily. However, The Molester sustained heavy damage, which will make it unuseable for some days. Getting more interceptors is certainly on my to-do list...

Captain's Log, 18 Sep, 0000
While I was preparing the squad for Bandit clearing (crash site 13... and I shot down no less than 5 this month already...), news struck - the Young Uber got interrogated and apparently that annoyed her enough to walk out. But it opened for us the three crucial researchers for Persuasion: The Most Common Superpower (it's tits), Wench Outfit (it's a bit of tits and bit of a snatch) and Shakeup Ceremony (full on nudity, only dipped in healthy radioactive sludge). There might be a pattern to this Persuasion thing... (the other 2 prerequisites were Slavery and Communications, btw).
Also Saya called that she wants us to shoot some traitors to the alliance. Whatever the reason, the alliance already loves us, but they will love us even more now, and that can't be a bad thing.
But that's later. Due to minor wounds, I'm taking 2 peasants for a spin - I don't expect trouble anyway.

Captain's Log, 18 Sep, 0040
When we landed, we stormed out immediately. Peasants got some shots in, me too, then the rest followed. The guy managed to nick Melissa before was downed.
Next turn we were greeted by grenade launcher fire. Thankfully it hit ship's side and nobody was hurt. Chloe launched a cannonball, illuminating two, including a Blood Hound.
Hammer stormed the ship, while the rest of them was mowed down with automatic fire. We scored 3 captives, and over $100k in sold loot.

Captain's Log, 18 Sep, 0626
Arrived at the traitor hunt. I reequipped peasants a bit, for longer range, and took a 3rd to replace Melissa.
We advanced quickly, Chloe killed one traitorous Smoothie in a black dress with a cannonball. Highwaymen were not required to be killed, so we took opportunity to get 2 alive. I suspected appartment complex to the east will hold more enemies.
Soon indeed 2 appeared. Onion hit flawlessly a Highwayman with her Magnum twice, but to no avail. While a Bugeye shot Hammer in the chainmail-covered ass, bruising it.
It did not take long to clear the complex with explosives. All enemies were inside. The last highwayman was dropped by a peasant's poisoned arrow.
The only issue was that 2 corpses were too mangled to identify, and Saya paid me only for 2 traitors. Bah. At least we got 3 more Highwaymen. What do I do with them? They don't want to join our enterprise, and are not worth much in ransom either. Maybe rob them and send them home in their socks. Yes. That is an idea. They are a decent source of scrap metal and yield some Blue chips.

Captain's Log, Supplemental, 18 Sep, 1000
I unpacked 2 prepper boxes I found a week ago in the stores. If my memory was as great as my intellect, I would create a singularity. Anyway, there was some pretty decent stuff inside.

Captain's Log, 18 Sep, 1030
Another contact, over Egypt! Sending the Sky Admiral.

Captain's Log, 18 Sep, 1430
Contact lost and gone. I swear, these new radars can't come online soon enough!

Captain's Log, 18 Sep, 2100
2...3 Fast contacts over Fort Opportunity. Worrying, but nothing can be done...

Captain's Log, 19 Sep, 0000
My sleep schedule is in total mess now. Doesn't matter! Since a key part of my research was finished: Piloted Vehicles. I immediately ordered follow up: Armored Cars. Once we have these, nothing will be able to stop us! (Figuratively speaking, of course).
I also ordered some Mutant Alliance Files. Costed us 20 tokens, we'll see how useful it is.

Captain's Log, 20 Sep, 0000
We finished researching an advanced piece of machinery, Surgical Unit. Surgery Room is to follow. It is a part of long-term plans.

Captain's Log, 21 Sep, 2000
Another contact over Europe, gone... Just a few days left until my radars, though...

Captain's Log, 23 Sep, 0000
Some more researches done... inching closer to Persuasion and Dojo. The goon we caught told us about some fairly dangerous Bandit ship...

Captain's Log, 23 Sep, 0220
Third mysterious warehouse this month! This time somewhere on Technocracy's east coast. Buckle up! Legionite got decked up in a brand new Chainmail. 2 peasants will provide arrow illumination.

Captain's Log, 23 Sep, 0713
Sky Admiral Dweeb interecepted something that looks... bit too much for our Aircar. Better leave it be.

Captain's Log, 23 Sep, 0820
Landed at Warehouse. Some tundra-like wasteland. Onion reacted well, one-shotting a guard with her Magnum.
With warehouse's illumination destroyed, we could advance more openly.
While we were clearing the complex, we got into a standoff with a Supervisor. Oh well. He wouldn't move. Lord of the Flies charged him from the flank, bonk.
Legionite, Melissa, Evil Gun and Chloe bunched up for the final assault.
Usual guard on the catwalk above, ambush position. Legionite used her Big Feisty Sword to reach him. It was supper effective.
Mission successful, not a scratch, 3 hostages, and a Tac Vest looted.

Captain's Log, 23 Sep, 2040
The Molester managed to take down that large Megapol craft over Gobi desert, but I decided we can do without raiding it.

Captain's Log, 24 Sep, 0000
The Alliance files turned out to be not very useful, but we made a breakthrough with Shakeup Ceremony, and started on Persuasion. Data disc gave us some mystical lore.
But most importantly, MY RADARS ARE FINALLY ONLINE!

Captain's Log, 24 Sep, 1705
The effects were fast to appear. Saker in the Molester intercepted a rare-looking civvie car over Ghostgates.

Captain's Log, 24 Sep, 2216
Reached the crash location. Captured both labourers, made $200k in loot. Indeed it was better than usual.

Captain's Log, 25 Sep, 0000
We made some progress in medicine.

Captain's Log, 25 Sep, 0300
Something Very Large zoomed at 5000 knots at the edge of our radar ranges. Better not to inquire what it was looking for.

Captain's Log, 25 Sep, 0913
The Molester intercepted a juicy looking ship heading to Ghostgates, but had to break pursuit as it was approaching the city.

Captain's Log, 25 Sep, 1200
Blood rituals are to take place on Ceilon! Don't ask how, I just know when a fellow Uber gal is in deathly peril! Too bad the mission will take place at night, but we cannot miss it.

Captain's Log, 25 Sep, 1806
We have landed in the middle of hot, humid jungle. I'm quite fine in my durathread, but these gals in chainmail are already sweating...
Dark Ones!
Firing squad was prepared... Too bad peasants forgot to equip flaming arrows instead of poisoned! But I guess it can still be used to our advantage.
And indeed, our peasant tranquilized one Dark One (sic).
We did not get much value, except for saving a Castaway and grabbing 2 live Dark Ones.

Captain's Log, 25 Sep, 2226
We were barely halfway back home, when another contact appeared over Himalaya. A Raider Barque! The Molester managed to take it down after a pitched battle, but it will need some serious repairs now... But we will attack them. I guess it's time to break out these Heavy Suits now.

Captain's Log, 26 Sep, 0000
Armored Car was designed! Now if I only could get my hands on Car Parts and Aqua Plastics somehow...

Captain's Log, 26 Sep, 0823
Touched down near the crashed Raider Barque.
The trap was set, and Raiders started running into machinegun fire, while being bombarded by incendiaries.
While tough, fast and numerous, they lacked firepower or armor to withstand this barrage. I decided to push for assault before those stunned by bullets bleed out.
Their leader was, of course, the prime prize. The idiot tried to retreat, but Hammer got to him... And managed to knock him down with multiple Spikey strikes. Damn the guy sure is tough.
We even managed to save a Buzzard, but some of them simply wouldn't go down... Lord of the Flies aim with her grenade was true, though. And it was the last of them.
We got 6 prisoners, including Boss and 2 Buzzards, and the prison was overflowing again.

Captain's Log, 26 Sep, 2200
The gal we rescued from Blood Rituals was ready for action. She has... a peculiar style.

Captain's Log, 27 Sep, 0000
We've got Cloaking Device deliveries secured. Whoever made them, surely has more marvelous tech like that. Someday I'll get it. But for now - it opens the way to operating full-fledged combat craft with impunity. I bought one in advance.
Also I feel like we're spreading too much with tech paths... gotta focus more, but all of them are so interesting!

Captain's Log, 27 Sep, 1000
Another Distress Call interecepted, this time in Russia. Also this time I'm coming full force on it.

Captain's Log, 27 Sep, 1320
We touched down. Dammit, it's cold! We have to act fast.
Crap. Nobody in sight. I already feel like this is gonna be painful.
Church again. Onion dropped the Warmaiden with a single Magnum slug. Phoenix missed a Neophyte, but killed someone unseen instead.
We're advancing and getting more and more cold. Squirrel, the poor newbie, is wearing a Gym Suit, I don't ennvy her.
Very soon after, mission ends. We didn't manage to capture anyone, but at least got some more bloody fame.

Captain's Log, 28 Sep, 1400
Aircar race in Golden Haven?? Don't be ridiculous. Fuck Golden Haven, forever and ever, that's what I say.

Captain's Log, 29 Sep, 0000
Surgery Room has been researched! Too bad we can't afford it. Gymnastics offers a better boon, as we can follow-up on devising training rooms at last. And finally... We got Persuasion! That Esper is so going to get it now. And finally, another good hit with the Gun Almanac.

Captain's Log, 29 Sep, 1100
And... a cool way to end a month, ain't it. I've always wanted to try one of these! Just let me don my Brainer suit and we're so going there! I wonder if water in Denmark is warm this part of the year.
Lord of the Flies and Hawk get space suits. We don't have any swimsuits, though, so the lot of them is gonna have to go topless.

Captain's Log, 29 Sep, 1330
We got there, and the water is damn cold. But my enthusiasm is unaffected. Let us prepare.
The best melee fighters are getting melee weapons and air tanks. The rest gets crossbows or harpoons or spears. Only Marza is good enough thrower to be given Javelins, I think.
Also Sizzling Striker stripped naked for some reason. I won't judge.
So it begins! And I see Deep Ones... And a lone, broken chest with an anchor next to it. IS THAT IT?
We open up with Harpoons, while Hammer gets one Deep One (sic) with her sabre.
Melissa hits some pipe with her crossbow, which results in impressive dancing flames. I could watch these forever.
Legionite gets one who sneaked up onto our roof, but we're quite surrounded.
She gets a bolt in the shoulder, but just laughs it off and charges the Deep One. Another notch on her belt.
Hawk hits another crossbowdeepman with a harpoon. After Lord of the Flies having put 2 into him, it is enough.
Phoenix swims through the dazzling smoke to find the one who disappeared there. She misses her lance strike, though. Marza follows and impales the monster with a javelin, it is however still not enough. Chloe swims up, shoots blind... hits. And that's it.
We took one alive, and grabbed the loot. Not a waste of time, but nothing to brag about either...

Captain's Log, 30 Sep, 0000
A Highwayman enlightens us on Sniper Rifle. Not a complete waste of time either.

Captain's Log, 30 Sep, 1500
Another contact on the screen. Going at 2600 knots, small. I order Saker to launch The Molester.

Captain's Log, 30 Sep, 1530
The Molester gets no reading. Weird. And soon after, the enemy vessel outruns it. Even weirder. But then they land. We have to catch them!

Captain's Log, 30 Sep, 1645
Whatever that was, it's too fast to catch now...

Captain's Log, 1 Oct, 0000
And thus my first month concludes.
Money is plentiful, and I immediately order 2 new Brainers to Legion Farm. Housed at hospital and library there, they will be slowly sifting through prisoners. What to do with $3.5 mil, though? I guess starting new Hideout is the way to go! I'll name it... Dioxine Labs! The only decent location seems to be Arctic, however... the radar patterns were planned poorly by my predecessors.
« Last Edit: July 17, 2019, 02:51:17 pm by Dioxine »

Offline Dioxine

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Re: Uber Piratey Squad Inaction (Collaborative AAR)
« Reply #37 on: July 17, 2019, 02:41:54 pm »
Captain's Log, 1 Oct, 1200
First contact: a combine harvester. Why not? Just let it go over some farmland...

Captain's Log, 1 Oct, 1830
We downed it over Ukraine. After some thought, I'm sending Sky Admiral Dweeb to Legion Farm. We need the stupidest, I mean the bravest pilot possible on The Molester to make sure nothing will escape interception like the last time. She garnered some extra experience on the aircar, now it's time to give it to someone else. Like Tardy Hawk. She is already good, but still has learning potential.

Captain's Log, 1 Oct, 2045
We've landed on the Ukrainian steppe. Nothing in sight except for the crashed harvester. The agri workers were out in the open and we seized them quickly. And Legionite got the "Bane of Human Citizens" title.

Captain's Log, 3 Oct, 0330
A fast-mover spotted over Siberia, going at 5000 knots.

Captain's Log, 3 Oct, 0628
The Molester, with Sky Admiral Dweeb onboard, identified it as a Govt Fighter. OK, nonhostile, we leave this one alone. Also I'm dubious it would be a battle the Sky Admiral could win.

Captain's Log, 3 Oct, 1200
Another fast mover, 3800 knots, over Arabia. The Molester sent to intercept.

Captain's Log, 3 Oct, 1257
It was a passenger ship, and we have shot it down near The Library, Mesopotamian region. I can already smell the money! Just need to clear the prison a little. So how about signing slavery contracts with some of these female Labourers... since we devised how to be persuasive enough!

Captain's Log, 3 Oct, 1725
We attack by nightfall and land in the middle of Mesopotamian swamps. We get to work immediately.
A hole full of water? Just next to our door? It's a trap!
Legionite trips on a pillow when exiting the craft, but still manages to throw some smoke cover.
Cordite finds the ship empty, engine exploded. No corpses nearby, though, so probably everyone survived the crash. Good for us.
Long story short, the mission went flawlessly and quickly.

Captain's Log, 4 Oct, 2030
A medium contact over Kamchatka, 1400 knots. Sending The Molester to intercept.

Captain's Log, 4 Oct, 2059
It's a raider gunship by the looks of it. Following, but not engaging. Launching the Turtle as well.

Captain's Log, 5 Oct, 0230
The raiders have gone off radar for good, somewhere over Indian Ocean. They did not land. But! An idea struck me. TURTLE is such a bland name. I christen it the... Groove Sauna!

Captain's Log, 5 Oct, 0500
A slow mover detected over Gobi desert. More Ratmen?

Captain's Log, 5 Oct, 0512
No more Ratmen. Saker saw to it (Sky Admiral Dweeb was boozed unconscious)

Captain's Log, 5 Oct, 1000
Hotline Kavkaz just called us. A secret Guild warehouse, Somewhere in Kavkaz!

Captain's Log, 5 Oct, 1030
More Ratmen spotted in Indochina. I knew there has to be more... and with good radars I can see them.

Captain's Log, 5 Oct, 1240
After taking care of 2 ratmen bands, Saker did a flyover of Indonesia, but didn't find more of them. Calling her back.

Captain's Log, Supplemental. 5 Oct, 1515
A new, genius idea struck me while I was in the clopper. Since I want to get rid of the Burrows at Murder Boat eventually, I ordered dogs to be moved to living quarters. The crew objected that in such a case, they must get named. What do I care, sure. Details, details.

Captain's Log, 5 Oct, 1730
A contact over Phillipines, moving at 1200 knots. Sending the Molester to intercept.

Captain's Log, 5 Oct, 1800
It was a large Megapol car. Saker shot it down over China's coast. I plan to deal with it, but first we need to visit Kavkaz.

Captain's Log, 5 Oct, 2000
We've landed in some harbour town at the Caspian Sea. There's the warehouse Hotline told us about. Due to the ill fame of the region, the gals refused to relinquish helmets and heavy suits, so the can't see shit in the dark. But we do have lights, ofc.
Heavy Suit + Machinegun our new trademark?
After some reaction shooting from the dark, I ordered assaulters to advance and subdue the survivors.
It looked like one GO took close to a dozen bullet hits, but he seems not too heavily wounded. We'll have him alive.
Meanwhile, our flanking detachment reached the seaside. Maybe there was some deeper reason to keeping the helmets on - the fish smell must be beyond awful.
One more push and the compound was ours.
Radio Erewan informed us that Marza became a Public Enemy, while Legionite and Chloe are now considered Bane of Trader's Guild.

Captain's Log, 6 Oct, 0000
Finally, some research completed. One of the Highwaymen told us about a "scary" ship of theirs, and a savvy girl about cargo freights we raided so successfully earlier this year.

Captain's Log, 6 Oct, 1000
Finally we harvested enough Aqua Plastics off Guild Guards to make a new suit of Tactical Armor. I feel this little success is important to mention.

Captain's Log, 6 Oct, 1846
...And right on cue! A Mutant Pogrom in Bitter Coast! LET-LET-US-GO. The rookie stays home, Lord of the Flies takes her place.

Captain's Log, 7 Oct, 0155
Touched down at Bitter Coast, decked out as well as we could. Now it's all up to Chaos.
It's cold. Very cold. I ordered extra Demon Skulls for the vulnerable chainmail gals.
And this is what we see. Marsec in powered armor. It is Cocytus indeed. NOW IT'S DO OR DIE, I WANT THESE POWER ARMOR PARTS!
While we were preparing to go out, sounds of laser blasts and gunfire were heard. Sounds like no mutants died, while one lucky guy with a hunting rifle brought down a Guild henchman. A good omen.
We started our attack. 2 bombs and a cannonball took care of a PCM, Marsec Op and the Reaper. I was shot at with some acid weapon when I was killing the latter, it missed by a hair. That's how it feels to be truly alive! It must have been that Bodyguard in powered armor, lurking somewhere in the dark now.
A molotov lit him up.
Legionite decided it's time for BOLD ACTION. She ran out the front door and around Sauna's bow, to see 2 PCMs. After cleaving one down, she also seen a guild rep. Then she smote the other one too. Lord of the Flies followed, but she fumbled most of her attacks and while she downed the Rep, she left herself in a vulnerable position.
We heard laser shots and explosions. Some mutants have died. But Lord of the Flies lived.
The Bodyguard was right in front of us. After Chloe cleared the flank of another MarSec, Hammer undertook BOLD ACTION. She scored 2 hits with her battleaxe, but the Bodyguard survived. Lord of the Flies took a snapshot with her sniper rifle, but missed. Situation was quite serious. Andromeda threw a mine to get the Bodyguard if he moved.
Hammer took a full frontal hit with the acid thrower. The chainmail kept her from dying, though. She finished the Bodyguard in one more swing.
It was now or never to seize the momentum. I ordered general advance, then, as Hammer returned to the craft, I administered her treatment.
Someone stepped into our mine. I think it was the heroic Bugeye with the hunting rifle. Oh well. No time to dwell on this, as we have to press the attack. Another MarSec appeared in the streetlights. Machineguns failed to stop him. Lord of the Flies missed her shot. Our last option was the Freak gal, Onion, and her Magnum aim proved true.
That issue out of the way, we got another front in the big warehouse to the South-East, where Evil Gun was advancing. Legionite backed her up. The MarSec got himself in a fight with a Lamia, but Legionite ended this struggle. There was still the issue of someone shooting shotgun slugs out of that warehouse.
There he was. Sizzling Striker took him alive for our collection.
Strappin Cordite advanced the Western flank. She found more PCMs there and promptly slashed one with lethal effect. Then she sprayed the other with her SMG. With less effect.
Now it was the time to storm the central warehouse. Perhaps a bit too hasty, but I wanted to save the young Uber.
Fucking dinosaur. A fucking dinosaur. Oh my God, what the fuck?
Machinegun fire to dinosaur's side proven less than successful.
The bomb I threw... MUCH more successful than I anticipated. AIEEEEE!!!
I heard screams about Hammer running back to the craft for the extinguisher, then some explosions from there, also Onion lobbing a smoke grenade in the middle of the inferno.
I DID NOT PANIC. Pain is for the weak. I shrugged off the shock to see the Young Uber being put out, after Onion's grenade doused some of the flames inside the warehoused. Then the idiot ran into the still-burning part. Melissa wrestled her down, and Phoenix put her out again with the flame extinguisher Hammer threw her. The latter screamed to me that a part of engines exploded, and damaged Sauna's stern, but our stash is OK.
But it wasnt the end of our trouble. The warehouse had, of course, Guild presence.
The guy with the RPG jumped us. Evil Gun shot him, but to no effect. And he shot Melissa from point blank.
He killed nobody but himself. Melissa was saved by her Heavy Suit, and the Young Uber by the intervening wall.

Captain's Log, Supplemental
Radio Erewan named Lord of the Flies another Bane of the Guild, and Melissa - another Public Enemy.
Melissa ended up in hospital for only 19 days. That's the Heavy Suit for you!

Captain's Log, 7 Oct, 0340
I got report from Saker that she shot down another Higwayman craft over Siberia. Probably best to try dispatching Airbus with peasants from her base, we got our hands quite full in Murder Boat.

Captain's Log, 7 Oct, 1330
Another curious thing intercepted... Looks like a small sphere, made of plastasteel. I doubt it is manned. Let's find out what will it do.

Captain's Log, 7 Oct, 1700
The Airbus, commanded by Sky Admiral Dweeb landed near the crashed bandit craft. Cold + camo paint = bad, so they had to make it quick. There was no trouble, and even some peasants got some experience - and all of them catched cold.

Captain's Log, 7 Oct, 1930
Another contact over Manchuria, Medium. Good thing Saker is back. Bad thing, The Molester is still being repaired after run-in with Megapol, and therefore it can't fly.

Captain's Log, 7 Oct, 2200
The dawn is rising over East Asia. Groove Sauna follows the mysterious craft. The Medium one sped up and disappeared off our screens already.

Captain's Log, 8 Oct, 0000
We finally cut up the captured Dark One, an important thing Sky Captain Dweeb somehow neglected to do for the whole time. Doesn't she want to have demonic powers or what? Nevermind it yielded no immediate results... More importantly, though burnt and hurting, I could assist in the final phases of breaking our mascot Esper. I ordered her to be taken to my house for safekeeping (well of course I have one, how could I not with such earnings?!). This gave me a sense of achievement... and not much else regarding our immediate situation, to be frank. So I ordered to pursue Plastasteel Munitions.

Captain's Log, 8 Oct, 0135
We've lost the track of the small, spherical flying object, but Groove Sauna is headed for Celebes in hopes of catching up. Meanwhile something new appeared on our screens. Small, 480 knots, over Siberia.

Captain's Log, 8 Oct, 0235
It was some sort of civilian truck. Saker shot it down, now is speeding towards Indonesia to lend her powerful radar to our search.

Captain's Log, 8 Oct, 0820
The Molester ran out of fuel. I'm calling off the search. We should have had researched that Shadowbat after all... I will order 3rd hangar to be built at Legion Farm to that end.

Captain's Log, 8 Oct, 0900
And a scant (a very scant) hour later, a miracle happened. We caught it on the edge of Fort Legion's radar, over the Pacific Ocean. I'll have Sky Admiral Dweeb handle the crashed truck with a crew of peasants, while Saker will sit tight in Molester's cockpit. I hope we won't lose this mysterious sphere again.

Captain's Log, 8 Oct, 1050
Airbus landed in Siberian marshes. It is not super cold there, so this batch of peasants won't freeze off their tits... what the hell is with the size of their tits?!? This is ridiculous!
I heard the Admiral made peasants run up and down the forest till she was satisfied. Indeed, some experience was gained.

Captain's Log, 8 Oct, 1228
We have intercepted the weird sphere just south of Fuso. Now it won't escape our grasp... unless we run out of fuel. Turtle has large fuel tanks, but not inexhaustible, it's been airborne for almost a day now. I dread to think what the gals are doing inside by now. Thankfully it is comfy.

Captain's Log, 8 Oct, 1410
It landed in northern Fuso! Well, let's find out what it was all about!
Dark ones in the dark... No way this can end up badly, right?
The scouts carefully exited the craft, lighting the marshes up. Quite a number of enemies was spotted immediately. Killing the Imp was the first priority, but how to do it quickly without it setting the whole craft on fire?
Striker found a firing solution.
Lord of the Flies one-shotted a Gunner. Things she can do with that rifle are impressive, to say the least.
Evil Gun machinegunned a Demon. Two good hits, but the thing was still standing.
Cordite and Phoenix killed a Sargeant.
And that was it, this time it was far too dangerous and open to try and leave the craft.
An Imp approached and opened our door. It was a job for Legionite.
Chloe bombed a duo of Demons. And so on.
Phoenix spotted a dangerous enemy. However she and Cordite were unable to achieve more than wounding him.
Legionite pot-shotted him for good, more demons fell all around. Situation was getting clearer. The time for assault was coming close, sitting in the Sauna won't get us captives!
Cordite noticed Something New. As scary as it was cute! Chloe shot it with the cannon, but missed. It was time to load Killy round, instead of Light round!
The Thing was getting closer. Cordite and Phoenix were shooting at it to little effect, some damage was being done but bullets were just sinking in its huge, bulbous bulk. What to do? Shoot more, of course!
Unless you are Legionite. BOLD ACTION was undertaken, and so was the demon in a masterful display of sworcery. Legionite ended up completely exposed.
LOTF had a helping smoke grenade just for times like this, she passed it to Evil Gun and she threw it right into Legionite.
Chloe ran out after Legionite and removed a grouping of trees with her acid cannonball.
She was shot at by several enemies, but they only managed to kill their own Demon.
We started to advance behind smoke cover.
Another plasma-wielding enemy was seen on the right flank. Onion did away with him quite nicely.
Legionite stormed forward... to find something REALLY nasty.
Cordite rushed to help her, they cut down 3 Dark Ones in the front and hid behind the building.
Evil Gun opened up on the Big Bad Demon from behind smoke cover and even managed to hit him. It was on!
Aaaand the demon rushed them.
Hold on to my beer, said Legionite. She ran up and slashed the Baron thrice, but it survived. Three more shotgun blasts from Phoenix, however, downed it for good.
More enemies rushed at us from the house. Legionite was there, and Striker used stun baton to catch one alive. At the same time, LOTF started to secure our captive Imp.
Cordite flanked the house in a BOLD MANEUVER.
All the gals were advancing now; enemies nowhere to be seen. Time to search the house and check the corners of the area.
Which was very quick to happen. Striker found the last Dark One and put him down. Thus ended this Weird Spherical Object saga! We gained lots of publicity and secured heaps of research data and some curious guns. One step closer to ruling the universe!

Captain's Log, 9 Oct, 0000
My Dojos are ready! Time to start building them!

Captain's Log, 10 Oct, 0000
With the newfound knowledge of Narlock and Lokk'Naar spiritualism, we gained the required levers to pull to convince Ninja Gals to serve ourselves as slaves. What was needed was the ability to enact a theological argument proving that this is, legally, our sacred right as victors, as long as the war between our factions continues, and as long as we feed the slave properly. The one ninja we had in custody had no counterarguments.

Captain's Log, 11 Oct, 0000
Spent $500k on outfitting Dioxine Labs for defence, and $300k more for Burrows and a Plantation. We're running quite low on money now.

Captain's Log, 11 Oct, 0200
Someone up there likes us, as a small civvie aircar helped us a bit with finances.

Captain's Log, 12 Oct, 0100
Small contact over Technocracy, 1900 knots. Sending The Molester, even though it will be the edge of its range; it has to go over the North Pole from China.

Captain's Log, 12 Oct, 0331
It was a Hopper, and Saker managed to crash it in Latin Empire. Sending in the Groove Sauna.

Captain's Log, 12 Oct, 1156
Our craft landed at crash site before dawn. It was some forest. Hostage taking commenced immediately, just Onion was closely missed by some Tough Guy, wielding a Magnum. With almost no further resistance, we once again scoured the whole field in record time and captured all the passengers.

Captain's Log, 12 Oct, 1330
A Medium contact over Gobi desert, going at 3500 knots, but The Molester is still damaged and low on fuel.

Captain's Log, 12 Oct, 1400
And something which looks like a civvie ship over Portugal. Tardy Hawk on intercept.

Captain's Log, 12 Oct, 1430
The civvie is outbound, over Atlantic now. Hopefully Hawk can pursue it till some dry land before reaching bingo fuel.

Captain's Log, 12 Oct, 1702
The red phone from Govt just rang, indicating a Prepper camp they want gone in Hidden Expanse. Very nice.

Captain's Log, 12 Oct, 2014
Hawk ran out of fuel just as she was approaching the Red Revolution's coast. The civvies got away. Not so nice.

Captain's Log, 13 Oct, 0015
The Groove Sauna landed at Prepper Camp. Turned out it was some farm, which brought hope of finding more Apples.
After dispatching two guys who were waiting for them, the gals deployed out.
Slow house-to-house advance followed, but the Gals were much better at this than the locals, the darkness was on our side, and the body count was slowly rising.
Locals started to panic.
It took a bit more time, but in the end, we killed everyone except for 2 wounded Ruffians. However, there was no apples, and no camp. What the hell??

Captain's Log, 13 Oct, 1100
Contact over Sahara, going slow, likely a civvie. Dispatching Hawk.

Captain's Log, 13 Oct, 1131
Civvie shot down, dispatching Sauna.

Captain's Log, 13 Oct, 1249
Mission finished, 2 civvies ransomed, their ship sold for scrap.

Captain's Log, 13 Oct, 1900
Jack calls. He wants us to help his tribespeople in Red Revolution's countryside to get rid of Ratmen raiders. Shooting ratmen never gets old. We won't be taking Prism Donna, the dumb Uber we rescued last Pogrom. She still needs to undergo Shakeup Ceremony, and she's not getting any clothes in general until she smartens up. It's an odd tradition, but it seems to work, and I never dismiss things that work.

Captain's Log, 13 Oct, 2000
Contact over Himalaya. Small, going at 2850 knots. The Molester should be able to get it.

Captain's Log, 13 Oct, 2147
We intercepted it over Atlantic Ocean. It's another Hopper.

Captain's Log, 13 Oct, 2233
Target shot down over the Amazon coast.

Offline Dioxine

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Re: Uber Piratey Squad Inaction (Collaborative AAR)
« Reply #38 on: July 17, 2019, 02:44:02 pm »
Captain's Log, 14 Oct, 0000
We developed Plastasteel Munitions. I'm immediately placing order for 50 machinegun ammo belts.

Captain's Log, 14 Oct, 0214
Groove Sauna landed at the Lokk'Naar village. We'll be taking lots of Black Powder Bombs for this one.
Raiders act fast, so we have to be even faster.
However, only a single shot rang out in the distance... Where are the raiders?
Cordite was shot at, somewhere from the dark...
Chloe lit up the area, Onion ran over with a bomb, BOOM, one raider less.
So far no Lokk'Naar died...
Legionite reached far end of the village. She found apples, and signs of fighting, but no enemies.
Cordite, on the other hand, did find a raider, powerless against outer walls. Sizzling Striker knocked him out with a bomb.
First Lokk'Naar casaulty, and sounds of fighting, near Legionite's position. She charges blindly, finds Raider, and kills him with two swings of her two-handed sword.
Onion finds another, blocked by Eastern walls. Chloe fires a long-distance shot that only nicks the Raider, but Cordite's bomb hits true. 2 raiders killed, 2 captured, 13 out of 14 villagers saved. And this means fat bonus from Jack. We also got 67 apples, which means the distillery can keep on churning money out. And I need a lot of money for my plans.

Captain's Log, 14 Oct, 0531
A contact just off Legion Farm, Small, 2500 Knots.

Captain's Log, 14 Oct, 0543
It was a govt fighter. Disengaging.

Captain's Log, 14 Oct, 1730
A very small contact over Kavkaz, going at 1400 Knots. Dispatching aircar. It's also time to go for the squad, to be at Hopper's crash site by nightfall.

Captain's Log, 14 Oct, 1847
Had to send the Molester out when the contact disappeared over Siberia, but intercepted it in the end. It's one of the blue bandit aircars (Megapol?).

Captain's Log, 14 Oct, 1901
Saker shot it down over Kavkaz.

Captain's Log, 14 Oct, 2323
Groove Sauna landed at Hopper's crash site. And to our surprise, it's Academy!
They have some security, uh-oh.
We've spotted a Medic with laspistol and a Slicer. We had to put her down, but Marza got shot with some lazors from the dark in the process.
Phoenix fucked up illuminatory grenade throw. Oh well, good luck was bound to run out.
A Fukken Esper!
Laser fire from every direction followed, and Squirrel got killed, as she was the only one without armor. Marza, LOTF and Legionite got wounded. Good job, Phoenix.
We responded, of course, with full assault.
We quickly overcame all the academicians, taking almost everyone alive as planned, we healed our wounds, and got to the Hopper.
An Engineer!
...And one more student.
And that was it. We took 11 enemies alive, and lost our Gal-In-Training. Who's gonna lit up the field with a bow now? But sacrifices are needed to ensure the final victory! And we have lots of Academicians to molest!

Captain's Log, 15 Oct, 0000
The secrets of Alchemy are ours now. Now we could expand our alcohol-based economy, but Stills cost a lot of money... One is gonna be built no matter what at Legion Farm, but it needs an Extractor first.

Captain's Log, 15 Oct, 0101
Mutant Pogrom in High Rock, while Sauna is still heading home! Can we make it? We'll see!
The only real issue is, we could only deploy 6 Gals, the rest is wounded. I need to think up a plan...

Captain's Log, 15 Oct, 0529
Sauna is back home, and my genius brain hatched a PLAN. We will send a decoy party of Peasants on bikes, while our Gals recover!

Captain's Log, 15 Oct, 1300
Actually we need to use multiple decoys - all our craft - to keep the Pogrom from developing too fast. Bikes are still 4 hours from arriving from Jackstown.

Captain's Log, 15 Oct, 1700
Finally, bikes are here.

Captain's Log, 15 Oct, 1740
Bikes are in travel, that gives us time to raid that crashed Megapol craft!

Captain's Log, 15 Oct, 1750
The mission went less than perfectly, but no-one got wounded, and we captured one wolfman, so... it wasn't so bad after all!

Captain's Log, 16 Oct, 0000
We've completed research on UAC documentation which gave us knowledge of this great gun... I plan to use it in the upcoming Pogrom! I will also use PS ammo for our Machineguns.

Captain's Log, 16 Oct, 0045
We could wait another day to wait for Gapin' Reaper, but the sooner we finish this Pogrom, the better, right?
We gear up in the best stuff we can, including laser weapons looted from the Academy last time, we take 3 dogs to supplement our ranks... and off we go.

Captain's Log, 16 Oct, 0400
Very Small Contact detected over Kazakhstan. Looks like Sky Admiral Dweeb will have a side job.

Captain's Log, 16 Oct, 0420
It was a bandit ship. Admiral's Peasants will attack it, but after nightfall.

Captain's Log, 16 Oct, 0600
Another contact, over Gobi desert, Small, 2500 Knots. Dispatching The Molester.

Captain's Log, 16 Oct, 0627
It's a Govt fighter. We've only wasted some fuel. Which is a bit painful since The Molester was shot up a bit during the run-in with the bandits, and you know these procedures - no refuelling till fully repaired! (which is, till midnight, give or take).

Captain's Log, 16 Oct, 0730
Medium sized fast-mover sighted over Europe. We can do nothing but ignore it.

Captain's Log, 16 Oct, 0822
In the afternoon sun over Central Province, we land at the Pogrom site. High Rock, Ahoy!
We proceed cautiously from the South-West. No enemies were spotted yet.
It's Deep Ones! Shit! Chloe reacted with her cannon, wounding Striker lightly. Hammer and Cordite proceeded to hack enemies apart.
Other gals started pushing the flank. Deep Ones don't have much in the way of ranged firepower, so open terrain is advantageous. I just didn't want to blow up these barrels, as it would kill the Lamia. You know how these journalists are.
Striker opened up with UAC archeoplasma, but missed her target.
Now the Deep Ones killed Lamia, our hands were clean. I don't expect many survivors in this Pogrom, to be honest. But I heard something like a Fartbag getting torn. Too good to be true?
While I was whispering orders to the vocoder, I found an opportunity to get some personal satisfaction. BOOM. BOOM.
Sizzling Striker was advancing, setting everything on fire. She did manage to mow down a Deep One, tho.
Oh, an overgrown homaroid. We need someone over to chop it for soup.
Evil Gun was doing what one would expect of a machinegunner, equipped with advanced ammo.
With the help of the rest of our left flank, I took down another one.
Now some asshole killed Anthony, one of our dogs. Meanwhile, Chloe reaction fired her cannon point blank, with predictable consequences, including exploding barrels. Miraculously, or thanks to our armor, nobody got hurt.
Hammer spotted the blue guy. Too far for a charge.
One more blue guy. I throw a bomb at their green buddy, but missed.
Striker did not miss, though, cutting through a couple of buildings in the process.
On the other flank, Anthony was avenged, but these structures were basically a nightmare, crawling with Deep Ones.
Bingo was dispatched to tear a new one in one deep one, and he, for one, succeeded. The homaroid, however, was fucking around.
Chloe and Striker demolished the buildings further, but 2 direct hits with archeoplasma were fully dissipated by Lobsterman's massive chitin plates. Not having much to add from myself, being a poor-shot Brainer with a shotgun, I lobbed and incendiary grenade in the general direction of the enemy. Getting beautiful over 6 magical weeks of adventuring was like a dream, but I do lack the combat skills of a natural born Uber soldier.
Lobsters were still milling around, but more Deep Ones appeared in the back street.
While the demolition was going on unabated on the left flank, it was high time to advance the right.
The situation took a sharp turn to the worse in my area. I took down one enemy, Striker the other and I ordered retreat. I needed to reload, too. Hammer advanced in our place.
Lobsterman retreated too, Hammer followed, and that's when she found the Fartbag. She shot laspistol once, making it bleed. Chloe decided that trying Acid Ball on itm seemed like a poor idea, so she picked up a bow, but missed. Phoenix lobbed an Inc grenade at it, perfectly aiming through the windows of half-demolished building. Striker and Onion missed their throws. But it was enough, the Fartbag wend down, burning.
However Hammer found herself in trouble. Facing two Lobsters, what can you do? BOLD ACTION, of course! However, just one took three battle axe hits to kill, and she had to retreat, shooting her laspistol.
Striker opened up with UAC Plasma, but missed most of her shots, and the one that hit, failed to do any damage.
I threw a Molotov at it, but missed as well. Chloe used her looted bow and even hit, but to no avail.
Meanwhile, Despoiler found another Fartbag. Good thing he did that, these things are insane!
The disarrayed girls from the right flank tried to do something about it. Evil Gun made a perfect grenade throw across three intervening buildings. Phoenix mimicked her feat, albeit from a bit closer range.
The burning Fartbag panicked, but the Lobsterman advanced and clawed Hammer. Her chainmail saved her life. She hacked away thrice, slaying the monster. I tended to her wound.
Striker ran up to the Fartbag and finished it with a plasma burst. That was it.
I think I will sleep my whole way back home, then I will eat, and go to sleep again. I feel... so... tired...

Captain's Log, 16 Oct, 1245
Peasant squad landed on some farm, where the Highwaymen crashed.
They solved the issue of Highwaymen and their dog with liberal application of incendiaries and combat shotguns. Bloodhound was taken alive for butchery.

Captain's Log, 16 Oct, 1400
Goblin Zaxx Bank called in that almost unbearably diplomatic tone of theirs, asking us to demolish some Lokk'Naar farmer's barn in Romanica. Well, easy enough. Meanwhile, radars spotted some Ratmen patrols near Sachalin. I learned they're making so much radio noise, because they're scanning for Hidden Outs (and Ins). How uncouth of them! Saker in Hawk (not to be confused with Hawk, who pilots our Car - I swear it is a coincidence!) was dispatched. Of course this broke Hawk's (Golden's) maintenance schedule and put even bigger dent on its fuel reserve.

Captain's Log, 16 Oct, 1755
By the nightfall, Hawk landed at the poor bastard's farm.
The work was simple.
Set up the barrel bomb. Run.
Unluckily, 2 farmers got caught in the blast and died. OH WELL. I'm a scientist, not a criminal, to pull such a thing flawlessly!
(We also got some Apples!) Radio Erewan called Tardy Hawk "Angel of Death". Seriously now? For a single, little barrel bomb?

Captain's Log, 16 Oct, 1800
More Ratmen, this time Phillipines.

Captain's Log, 16 Oct, 1900
Ratmen in Indochina!

Captain's Log, 16 Oct, 2230
A Small contact over Sudan, 1800 knots. Dispatching Hawk.

Captain's Log, 17 Oct, 0018
Hawk finally intercepted the contact over Siberia, it is a Raider Barque. Shootout with it wouldn't make sense, when you fly an Aircar. Maybe they'll land.

Captain's Log, 17 Oct, 0140
We're flying Groove Sauna after these Raiders, but I'm not too hopeful to catch them.

Captain's Log, 17 Oct, 0530
And what do you know, we got them.
Such a nice forest. Now it's just proper placement of the firing squad...
Oh well, we got too complacent and ate a grenade. Not a biggie.
I ran to the door, grabbed 2 more still breathing bodies, then ran to our lines. Time for some First Aid training!
In the end, we took 4 hostages. Not bad. Wounds do hurt a little, though.

Captain's Log, 17 Oct, 1330
The red phone called again. This time, it was some issue with Govt Agents getting stranded in Doom Harbour, during some less-than-glamorous operation. Hey, I don't judge - and I command the govt for attempting to save their agents, despite being unable to do so openly! (It means money for us, too.). Most of the squad is in hospital, but this might just be the perfect opportunity to train Peasants and Dogs.
I only sent Onion and Reaper to oversee the operation, the rest was 2 dogs, and 8 Peasants, armed mostly in Military Shotguns.

Captain's Log, 17 Oct, 1850
We've landed at Doom Harbour's outskirts. Quite scenic.
It was the Ballers. Nice enough.
Well, Reaper took a Molotov. Dammit. Worse still, she decided to freeze in panic. In the fire.
Honor Randall took a bullet, but lived.
In the end, we took one Baller for enslaving, and the peasants garnered quite a bit of experience.

Captain's Log, 19 Oct, 0000
Finally, Interceptor Assembly! For now I'm not in a situation to outfit a fleet of interceptors, but it is an important building block on the way to recomission our crashed Hull. Research on Dynamite and Shadowbat completed as well, but we have no free hangars. Also a Ruffian told us about Animal Poison... but we already have Alchemy... how comes? I suspect some foul play.

Captain's Log, 19 Oct, 0100
A civvie contact over Sudan.

Captain's Log, 19 Oct, 0411
Groove Sauna touched down on the desert at dawn. We took a Tough and a Savvy girl, and Striker was proclaimed Public Enemy, Infamous, by Radio Erewan.

Captain's Log, 20 Oct, 0000
VOODOO was researched, bwahahaha!

Captain's Log, 21 Oct, 0600
Small contact over North America, 2400 knots. Dispatching The Molester from China.

Captain's Log, 21 Oct, 0607
The contact disappeared. Drats.

Captain's Log, 21 Oct, 0800
Another contact, over Gobi desert, looks like a civvie. Dispatching The Molester.

Captain's Log, 21 Oct, 1437
The Groove Sauna landed on the Turan-Chinese border where the civvies crashed. Evil Grass sought to frustrate our efforts, but we caught a Drifter and Tough Girl none the less.

Captain's Log, 22 Oct, 0000
The Guild Medic we've captured told us about safes full of money. Figures.

Captain's Log, 22 Oct, 0630
Medium Contact near Witchhaven, 2500 knots. Dispatching the Molester.

Captain's Log, 22 Oct, 0625
It's a Govt Ordinator. Disengaging.

Captain's Log, 22 Oct, 1631
I learned that Sky Admiral Dweeb raided the landed Ordinator, or, more precisely, ran out, catched one Govt agent, dodged Magnum slugs, and fled. This netted us $80k, gotta admit...

Captain's Log, 23 Oct, 0000
A Raider Boss was "debriefed", which allows us to enslave two other ones we have and grab their BOSS armor for our use.

Captain's Log, 23 Oct, 0300
A very small contact over Canada, 1600 knots. Dispatching The Molester.

Captain's Log, 23 Oct, 0445
It was a Bandit ship. Saker splashed it into Pacific.

Captain's Log, 23 Oct, 0700
Shambler Hunt in Siberia! Well, what else to do but roll! I ordered weaker weapons to be equipped, why waste plastasteel ammo...

Captain's Log, 23 Oct, 1143
Sauna didn't manage to get there before nightfall, but it didn't matter. We got our fame, one live Shambler, and gals could polish their skills a bit more. Staying on the bleeding edge is important.

Captain's Log, 23 Oct, 1600
Very Small contact near High Rock, 1399 Knots. Dispatching... Dispatching...

Captain's Log, 23 Oct, 1625
Small Megapol car. It has gone down. Dispatching... Dispatching...

Offline Dioxine

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Re: Uber Piratey Squad Inaction (Collaborative AAR)
« Reply #39 on: July 17, 2019, 02:44:37 pm »

Captain's Log, 24 Oct, 0000
We got El Fuego! Commencing construction immediately!

Captain's Log, 23 Oct, 0017
Groove Sauna landed at the Megapol crash site. Only one Wolfman was captured alive, since "they kept wandering off" as the gals have put it.

Captain's Log, 24 Oct, 1230
Mutant Alliance called with the most gravitous (or gravy?) news: a Pogrom in Memory of Earth. Now what to do with that kertuffle... Obviously, we go there! But we have to drag it out for 12 more hours, I need more Gals in the team. And I sold the bikes to make room for El Fuego, which makes this a bit tricky...

Captain's Log, 24 Oct, 1700
A Comms Tower in Siberia. Well it will have to wait, we have a Pogrom to take care of here. Unless we used Peasants for that...

Captain's Log, 25 Oct, 0000
We got Demonic Essence researched, which means I can order grinding down of these Possessed Sarges we possess to possess some Essence insteat.

Captain's Log, 25 Oct, 0002
Off to Pogrom the gals go,
Just tonight, the biggest show!

Captain's Log, 25 Oct, 0130
Another contact over N. America. Proceed, proceed...

Captain's Log, 25 Oct, 0302
It was a Hopper, and Saker downed it over Cali Republic, taking no damage. Good stuff.

Captain's Log, 25 Oct, 0502
Sky Admiral Dweeb took the Molester, and she plans to storm the Comms Tower with only Saker and a single peasant in backup. Whatever...

Captain's Log, 25 Oct, ????
It's the Church. With grenade launchers. Oy Vey.
Ophelia Guerro is not taking this well. Will Admiral pull it off, before the poor peasant freezes to death?
Expert grenade throwing and running up and down commenced.
Enemy attrition was slowly proceeding, until, at some point, Admiral got shot in the ass.
The Matron took long enough to find.
Ophelia lost consciousness, when Admiral firebombed the Matron.
It wasn't enough to do it once.
But twice did it. Damn that Admiral and her methods.

Captain's Log, 25 Oct, 0847
Landed in Memory of Earth at night. That's good.
Industrial zone... and Dark Ones. Night not so good after all!
Cordite opened up with exploding some barrels, killing two.
Other gals dropped a couple more, but assaulting into the night was going to be a tricky business.
Sounds of fighting were heard in the distance. Imps lobbing fireballs, mutants returning fire, demons tearing people to pieces.
Soon Dark Ones swarmed onto our location. We counterattacked.
Our dogs ripped 4 Dark Ones open.  Evil Gun machinegunned two more. Striker and LOTF another two. Cordite axed a Demon. Chloe fired blind, aiming for a place where a Smoothie was being devoured, cannonball destroyed some barrels and killed the Demon responsible. We weathered the first wave down, but couldn't save any mutants.
Marza took the first Imp down. These were very dangerous. Despoiler felled another.
Spectres were going to be a major pain, too... considering it was dark.
The fight continued for quite a long time. Finally the gals pushed forward along the whole contact line, across the railroad.
One local young uber was miraculously still alive.
In the final push, all remaining Dark Ones were moped up.
We managed to leave a good and lasting impression.
And Lord of the Flies garnered lots of Condemnations.

Captain's Log, 25 Oct, 2138
The gals rested a bit after the Pogrom, but there was still that Hopper to handle. It could not wait much longer, so I dispatched them again.

Captain's Log, 26 Oct, 0520
Touched down at the crashed Hopper.
Savage beatings commenced.
Since our geographical database on the world I intended to rule was almost complete, I ransomed off all the random civvies. Which gave a nice rub to our treasury.
An unexpected, but not unwelcomed discovery was a Hydra laser.

Captain's Log, 26 Oct, 1000
Mutant Alliance called: one Mage needed expedient escape, but not the way he (or she?) planned it. Sure, sure... Pecunia non olet!
And Corsica was basically next door to our base.

Captain's Log, 26 Oct, 1410
I prepared the squad and we arrived as fast as we could, without even waiting for the Groove Sauna to refuel.
There was the whole tower, and a Goon was loitering nearby.
The mage, naturally, used the same predictable trick as them all do: he left his people for death in the escape craft, while leaving on foot himself. Not a chance this could fool such a towering intellect as mine.
Looks like he was smart enough to leave some more goons to ambush us as we were making our ascent. Well, could have worked on someone weaker.
Finally we got him after a short struggle.
Slow ascent was continuing.
Cordite and Striker reached the summit, while LOTF was lagging behind. The ascent drained everyone's energy. Onion started complaining about her hurting legs. Cordite started firing at random.
Phoenix tossed them a couple of beers. She missed both throws by one floor. Nobody was inclined to go back to grab them.
LOTF broke the door, and Cordite jumped inside, Onion behind her. They quickly subdued everyone.

Captain's Log, 27 Oct, 0000
A batch of researches were completed. Possessed soldier became known to us, as well as an insane weapon called Medical Slicer.
There were also 2 Young Ubers to handle... Prism Donna, post-shakeup, and Braless Pervert, pre-shakeup.
It was also time to change Car's pilot. Since Hawk had almost nothing left to learn there, I replaced her with Chloe.

Captain's Log, 28 Oct, 0000
Onsen is ready! Yaaay! Only me and my pet peasants!

Captain's Log, 28 Oct, 0900
Ratmen Rodeo is going on in southern Cali Republic! How could we pass up such a fiesta? Especially since Legionite could join us as well, thanks to healing powers of Onsen?

Captain's Log, 28 Oct, 1857
The gals have landed at the Ratmen village. Let the games begin!
Well there was no choice but to attack! Donna proved her worth by felling the weird-looking zombie gal.
So we brought down another one and a fatman.
Full scale zombie sweep commenced. Taking new specimens alive was highly reccomended... but not required.
The sweep was fabulously successful.

Captain's Log, 29 Oct, 0000
Dojos at Hideots 1 through 3 are built! Let the training commence!

Captain's Log, 29 Oct, 0100
El Fuego is complete!

Captain's Log, 30 Oct, 1530
A contact over Carribean. Likely a civvie. Nice bonus at the end of the fiscal month.
On that note... yeah, I'll sack all the workers. We no longer need them, and some nice dolaro can be saved that way.

Captain's Log, 30 Oct, 2300
Civvie hunt commenced.
In retrospect, "hunt" was a bad choice of words. Legionite took it too literally and murdered 2 labourers with her knife before I could get to her and explain what I really meant.

Captain's Log, 31 Oct, 2310
So, the second month of my secret lordship over the crew is coming to an end. I can safely say it was the best month for us ever, even if it didn't advance my plans for world domination as much as I'd wanted! I think it will be best to keep low profile for a while, lest Sky Admiral Dweeb notices something...

Offline nrafield

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Re: Uber Piratey Squad Inaction (Collaborative AAR)
« Reply #40 on: July 20, 2019, 12:57:07 pm »
The tradition of choosing every new captain to lead our hideout continues! That's right, it is in fact a tradition, and no matter how freely we may interpret it, the fact is, that the most important tenet of picking a new person to have ABSOLUTE POWER over everyone's lives in this hideout has been followed to a fault. Does anything else matter? Well, we are all alive and mostly happy, so...guess not?

And now is my time to assume power. Now, I kinda did not expect everyone else to take this so seriously, and honestly I'm pretty lazy, so...uh...I kinda forgot to write any logs. I'll just try to recount the events as I remember them, okay? It's been pretty stressful for me too!

On the start of November, Madam Dioxine had relinquished her control of the hideout, leaving me in charge. Honestly, the state of our base had shocked me. The most basic facilities were not constructed, my favorite equipment not only wasn't anywhere to be found but no one had ever heard of anything like it before, and the worst part - there isn't any proper clothing about! Now, I know that tailoring "proper" cloth had been considered too much effort, but during my Academy-sponsored trip to the beach back in captivity I had learned much about it's use in some conditions. Of course no one actually signed up for that trip but me, and it mostly consisted of several Osiron men trying to hold my head underwater to see how long I can last without breathing, but that's another story! What's more important is, I've learned about existence of swimsuits, and I really wish I had one back then. They are handy for every occasion. And so, my first order as the acting captain was to quickly devise a swimsuit blueprint and have them mass produced!
The first wind of change is blowing.
However, before my order was completed, I had received a report of an enemy vessel. Being the acting captain, it would be my responsibility to decide if we are going to attack it or not. Some people adviced me to actually avoid it, because the ship had red and blue lights on it, which was a bad omen, but I was young and wanted to prove my leadership skills. So off we go! We can beat that threat with our bare hands!

Upon closer inspection, the ship turned out to be an Ordinator, filled with government people. Naturally, once again I was adviced by crew to leave them alone, as though they were actually squishy and weak, they were also one of the kinds of people in the world it would be really unadvisable to attack. But I know better! Forbidden fruit is the sweetest, and also the most expensive one. So we would capture as many of these fruits alive and unharmed as possible!

Sadly, that turned out to have been not as easy as it sounded. The government forces were very upset about our decision, and did not hesitate to open fire from all hands. I was shocked! Usually they aren't that intent. And then it turned that our gals armor was indeed filmsy despite looking threatening, what with their disdain from proper clothing, and the enemy weapons actually hurt them. The resistance was in fact so severe that the initial plan of trying to capture as many of them alive as possible had to be scrapped before it resulted on casualties on our side. Half government personnel were killed, and the battle reflected badly on us. I would say, the money gain of almost 2$M from selling that ship and it's surviving occupants was worth it though!

Behold, the stiff government resistance! Never before have I seen something like this.
More of our gals than I'd thought had ended up injured in that battle, leaving our force weakened. I had noted the lack of medical facilities and even proper accomodations for support auxiliary troops. That was not something I expected. Because of this, we would had to stick with adding some peasants to our army for some time.
Battle result

Emboldened by the previous success (It was a success, right? Nobody died on our side and we got a fat stack of cash!) I had departed on a Shrine Ship raid, expecting it to be just as easy. That turned out to be a fatal mistake.

You see, they had Celatids on that ship. Most of our crew jokingly call them fartbags, which I think doesn't do them justice with the amount of threat they represent. And indeed, the first gal who walked out the ship thinking it would go down easy, was greeted with a Celatid spit in the face, and melted into a disgusting puddle faster than she could say "Oops". Her name used to be Sizzling Striker, too. How fitting.
The remaining troops weren't in such a good afterwards, and even though we eliminated 2 Celatids they were constantly in fear. The peasants we had brought aboard to replace injured troops dropped quickly. As the still living gals had sustained grievous injuries, I suddenly had realized we had to retreat. However, one of them dropped a primed incendiary at her feet and ran out of the ship, screaming. What a pathetic coward, I thought. Panicking at such an important moment, when a random chryssalid could say hello at any minute. Well, if she wants it that badly, we can just leave her to them, people with a brain can fly away from this nightmare. And so they have.

After that, there was literally no healthy gals left, so in order not to slow too much pace too much, and adapt to the fact that things will likely only get more difficult, I had decreed recruitment of new troops, and an expansion of Barracks. I even managed to discover where Magic Skeleton was hiding and press her back into service, haha! No one hides from me, especially not veterans in times of need. From then on, she would lead our peasants into battle, which were the only capable fighting force we had left, and perhaps make them capable of doing something other than dying.
« Last Edit: July 21, 2019, 12:30:06 pm by nrafield »

Offline nrafield

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Re: Uber Piratey Squad Inaction (Collaborative AAR)
« Reply #41 on: July 21, 2019, 12:23:59 pm »
The humiliating defeat was soon reinforced by losing not one, but TWO aircars with good pilots who got overconfident thinking they could take down a megapol car or a bandit boat with a filmsy 25mm cannon. That's when I finally realized just how dangerous, in truth, life is, when you can't just rectify your mistakes by turning time back. Nevertheless, I definitely could not quit now, and I felt obligated to fix my mess and restore my honor, and I had plenty of time to do so at that.

I resorted to taking peasants on easier missions to train them up to fill the forces while my project for construction of Large Barracks was underway. Surprisingly, they actually managed to hold their shotguns long enough to kill a few Ratmen, despite the fact that they were still useless and continued dying. After several succesful missions with none of our crew dead (Peasants DO NOT count as crew!) I had become emboldened, and as the news of a yet another Mutant Pogrom came in, I had made the decision to embark on it and attempt to match up to the captains of old, who've swatted the mutants' adversaries away without fear.

To my surprise, the mutant populace were oppressed by none other than their own kin! And by that, I mean the Raiders. Naturally, since we are much cooler than them, they had 0 chance, although it still get dangerous at times, such as when a reaper dashed all the way out of the dark to bite Legionite. I had witnessed many a mutant, no matter how tough, torn apart by these powerful jaws, and yet...FOR ONCE, it turned out that there are materials stronger than them. That being said, the Reaper bite could not pierce through her chainmail. And now she can boast about how she literally wrestled with a Reaper and won. That's a nice achievement, I guess!

There was another pogrom that month, but it actually was even more pathetic than the Raiders, and I uh...kinda...forgot all about it. I think it was the Humanists on it, though? Or some other purebloods. Whatever!
Pogrom results...Let's just ignore the losses among our crew. If they died, that's because they sucked at combat anyway! Right?
Once new gals started filling into our army, I've fitted them with swimsuits and blunderbusses with chem shells, the rest of equipment at my leisure. It worked out fine for most cases.

In the middle of the month, we've started seeing heavier ships fly by. Their intent was unknown, but they were likely up to no good. I've decided to risk it and take a peek at one of these, but a warning gauss shot at a peasant which ripped her body in half had made me change my mind. Man, Mercs are just so badass. Can't fight them without good equipment and troops...without a good plan, at least.
Merc Heavy Gunship! Too bad I had no troops avaliable to give any semblance of a fighting chance. Well, at least I did not get everyone killed again!
Scary enemy ship close to the end of my reign, which made me want it to end as fast as possible, someone else could deal with that.

To my glee, more and more Ordinators have started flying by as well, and I spared no effort trying to loot every single one of them. It went better than the first time, we started getting more knowledge about government people, until, well...we've fled up to one at night, and to my horror, it was crawling with ZOMBIES! I know Zombies are really tough and mostly just an extreme pain to deal with, yet I went through it anyway. Never again. My nerves just can't take it, and almost every time I sent a mission against them, at least one gal did not return alive. It felt like an apocalypse of sorts. Well, two ordinators at night were enough for me. If there really is a plague of sorts, maybe someone else can go and stop it! And I'll just turn out hideouts into proper underground bases, growing food on plantations, blackjack and hookers. Like what I've already been doing. I've established two new bases during my reign, you know!
I trust this should explain why I'm not exactly hyped fighting zombies.

As one of my last gifts to the hideout, I had commissioned a Kraken, which had been finished shortly before the end of a December. The crew and me had departed on one last Rodeo to a Bandit Town, where we basically just killed as many people as possible until the rest peed their pants, as revenge for the world being so cruel to us. And now is going to be my turn to serve on the frontline. Perhaps I'll learn what's it like to be ther, or maybe I'll just meet a similiar fate as Sizzling Striker. I am ready, at least.
All in all, it has been a rather stressing reign. I must admit, I'm actually not sure I was entirely qualified for it, but at least now I've learned something new. But I think my comrades were actually impressed when, by the end of it, despite all setbacks, we've had more fame than ever. Guess there is glory in death sometimes, huh? Well, if there's a next time for me, maybe I'll do better...and draft up an actual log. But for now, I'll happily pass up the rule to the next gal. Let's see her wriggle out of that one!
« Last Edit: July 21, 2019, 12:42:43 pm by nrafield »

Offline greattuna

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Re: Uber Piratey Squad Inaction (Collaborative AAR)
« Reply #42 on: July 23, 2019, 06:30:59 pm »

As the New Year passed, I was chosen to be a new captain amidst the drunken celebration. How did it happen, I don't know, and before I could figure it out, radar runt ran in and told me about shipment being spotted. It was cutter manned by Church, and after it landed, girls quite readily followed suit on my orders. It was also an opportunity to test an armored car the previous captain had commissioned. It was armed with a 25mm and provided a lot of fun and fireworks!


The mission was easy enough, but fighting at range with blunderbuss is... not a very fruitful endeavor. Wheeled MG did the job admirably, though.

Unfortunately, the driver had too much fun and accidentally shot one of our own, injuring her and herself to boot.

After the mission I took a nap and tried to sort through the inventory. For some reason we had still used blunderbusses - big, bulky and frankly obsolete shotguns. I replaced them with assault rifles and ordered runts to make a hundred of plastasteel clips alongside new armor.
Whatever aircraft we had was also lacking - gunship without guns and only two ships worth of damn, the aptly named Molester and El Fuego, with a bunch of aircars that really overstayed their welcome. As soon as I can I'm replacing them with real fighters.

Later in the day I was informed about a plane flying around. An actual propeller plane! A target is a target, though, and it was shot down very easily, and I sent Groove Sauna in, but before it could land I received an urgent request of help. Once again, Mutant Alliance couldn't take care of it's own people and needed someone else to do the job, so I redirected the ship. What a busy day...

It was Church. Seems like they got themselves busy as well. Chryssalids were roaming about, the pink blobs of death and acid were hosing down the innocents, and whatever the fuck was sliding along the roads creating fire everywhere. To make things worse, it was dark, and nobody brought (nor bought) any flares, so the team had to rely and whatever lighting they had - a quiver of flame arrows and the car's headlight.

After minutes of carefully picking off the enemy it finally looks safe to come out and douse the stragglers. With car leading the way a few girls step out and eliminate whoever they find, but not before one of the... slidey fucks set the car on fire and made the driver freeze in fear. It was tough too, took a lot of grenades and machinegun fire to take down.


Night missions against Church are always fun, especially without flares.

Luckily, we had another source source of light. The car did most of the heavy lifting, running circles around turtle drowning the enemies in explosive fire.
For all their fancy gold shields and reactions, exalts fell easily to a few assault rifle shots.

Of course, it wasn't just exalts - the church loves their terror units. We had to pick them off very carefully with weapons we had: rifles, machineguns, grenades and even a few landmines. Then, after a few turns of going back-and-forth, the car was sent out as most expendable (and armored, and fastest, and... well, it had lights).

And probably the worst to fight the rockys. It's (on the right) fire completely debilitated the driver, freezing her in fear and letting rocky spew even more fire. Thankfully, the rest of the team was nearby, so I could peel rocky off in just three turns. Marza got overzealous and got caught in fire, but did not panic.
After that, following mop-up was easy. As result, we got a bunch of hopefully useful bodies, as well as plasma pistol.

One of the mutants even survived somehow. Good on them.

After that mission, the plane was easy as pie. It was necropirates, who had no chance against our firepower.


Necropirates in second year are a pushover. I did hold myself back a little so I could get a live one. I think I got four.


Turns out we have a lot of money lying about in bags and purses, doing no-thing! I- I mean, our enterprise- could do a lot with this sort of money, so I made runts count it all. Pretty sure they pocketed some of it, but they did return with a lot of chips. I immediately sold most of them, however (the chips, not the runts) and, holding a good two million worth of $1000 chips, headed to mess hall. What's better way to waste money than gambling?

To my surprise, it was a good way to earn money.


I didn't have to worry about money for the month, needless to say. But there still was a lot to be done - from refitting the fleet, to rearming the gals, to research. There was a lot of research. So many useful techs sitting just a few researches away, but together adding into insurmountable pile. I focused on unlocking missions and getting some nice weapons and armors - whoever goes after me can finish the rest.

Second cutter landed somewhere far from the hideout, and I, fearing it won't stay landed for long, sent a kraken instead. While right now it was useless as a gunship, having average speed and no guns, it was a solid transport.


Having so much money in the pocket, I can afford buying components for the first two Hunter-Killers with their rip-off prices. I need them ASAP, as shipping is common and needs more than flimsy aircars to handle. Of course, replacing them was complicated by main hideout busy with everything else, and Legion Farm, the second hideout, not having nearly enough runts as it could handle. I had to pour a million and a half into additional living space, as well as wait some time before their workshop could be staffed fully.

Workshop finally finished the full plate armor! Quite heavy, but toughest of all that we have right now.

Two craft spotted, one civilian car and one of megapol. Both were shot down and raided. However, megapol cops were well-armed and put some hurt on overconfident girls.


Ow. Ow ow ow ow. Plasma hurts! Nobody died, but I had to bring out the big (25mm) gun to prevent further damage.


Relatively quiet day, only noteworthy things are a prepper camp (weren't prepared for us!) and another civilian aircar.

...well, somehow one of the radars also picked up a lot of roaming hordes seeking the hideout. Molester had a lot of fun strafing them, as well as target practice.




My informants got a hold of atrium location. It was an easy mission, but once again, the car driver had way too much fun with a cannon. I'm thinking of replacing it with something less destructive for the sake of loot. At least after razing the atrium and killing most of them the rest surrendered.


Church is too zealous for their own good. I tried to quickly force a surrender, but instead ended up turning the atrium into ruins. The last priest, who was blocking surrender, was frolicking on the other end of the map while I was sending shell after shell in every room.

Another Church cutter landed for us. You'd think they'd learn.


Someone shot down an ambulance. It was looking for us anyway.


Right in the midnight a brainer comes barreling to me to talk about "peasant stalker outfit". Says it's good for stealth. I like it, but tell her to come up with something better.
The peasants did suffer on the battlefield. They require the utmost care to be kept alive, and suffer greatly without any armor or support. The best tactic I found was to only send them at night, wearing the runts' outfit. Gives them chance to survive, and black color lets them blend in the dark somewhat. But they need something better! Hopefully brainer girls come up with said something soon.

After light fighting the ambulance was subdued.


Another civilian craft raided.

Later at the day, radars picked up a slow, fat, lightly defended freighter. It was easily forced to land.


The freighter was manned by zombies - hardy bastards who apparently could sense us from farther than we could see them, especially at night. Didn't help them much, though - most of them didn't have weapons and had to close range, and we were waiting for that.

The zombies had me spooked right proper. Since I expected traders, i rushed out and placed everyone into position to go in next turn, subduing everyone inside:

However, my plans were dashed by zombies coming at me instead. Three of them surrounded Legionite, but only one took a damaging swing, which she survived.

I pulled her back and had everyone else (who had a gun) fire. Stunning weapons were dropped, and lethal implements were picked up.

Feeling rather tactical today, I decided to have my melee gals flank the zombies while everyone else laid down the suppression fire. Of course, zombies, being zombies, did not suppress, and before they could actually flank the enemy, enemy was all but dead.
« Last Edit: August 17, 2019, 10:25:26 pm by greattuna »

Offline greattuna

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Re: Uber Piratey Squad Inaction (Collaborative AAR)
« Reply #43 on: July 25, 2019, 03:39:57 am »

Another "nothing" day.


At midnight I was stopped by a brainer handing me something called "city pass". Why? I wasn't planning on tourism right now, not there! She didn't care about my questions, though, and strolled away, probably to brain some more.

A stranded Gal sent an emergency broadcast, and who are we not to respond to it? She wasn't in a good shape, and after murdering some highwaymen, who also responded to the call, she was brought back to rest.

As the day was ending, runts at Legion Farm reported finishing the first Hunter-Killer. I got rid of the Airbus that was gathering the dust there and told them to make a second fighter.


It was a tense day. First, a radar runt reported a military ship flying around. Thankfully, it was an escort, and it wasn't looking for us, and it did land, presenting a convenient target. Unfortunately, it was too far for Groove Sauna, so I sent in the Kraken.

The raid went a little awry, however. The cold weather slowed the gals significantly, the team was a mix of relatively fresh hands and peasants, and the Kraken was underequipped.
Still, they managed to get a good start, killing a number of warmaidens. Rockin Hammer, feeling bold and expecting the rest to be inside, decided to run up to the entrance and set a little ambush. However, they were outside, and one of them wielded an RPG. First direct hit seriously wounded her, but her heavy suit saved her from dying outright. Second hit did her in.
After killing the rest of warmaidens, an all-too-familiar blob of acid descended on one of the surviving gals. It was celatid, and it only narrowly missed her. Did not miss the second shot, though, turning Tragic Shazza into a pool of icky goo. She, obviously, didn't survive this. The team managed to get the celatid alive, so at least that's some good news.

Someone also spotted a bigger, meaner ship. Upon visual inspection (I sent a fighter to shadow it), I realized it was too mean for us to shoot down, and too smart to land.


Nothing much, aside from another civilian car.


Got woken up by those brainheads again. They tried to show me a "sniper" armor. Well, I can't call it an armor, but I liked it. Got night sights and those fancy things that help with aiming.
Nothing much happened beside that. One civilian car again.


Got woken up AGAIN by a brainer showing off the "peasant fusilier outfit".  Ugh. Still, I did ask them to come up with something better, but I meant the armor, not the... whatever this is. At least it was a useful outfit, and she did assure me that it's most comfortable for them, so I made an order to make a few dozens of them.
Radars spotted a megapol cruiser and an ambulance. Both were forced to land, but there was only enough time in the day to deal with ambulance.


Another freighter! Manned by zombies again, no doubt.
Groove Sauna landed and dealt with a cruiser. The Megapol once again wielded advanced weapons, but this time, we knew that and were expecting it. Got plenty of weapons for ourselves, including a genuine Stellar Empire plasma rifle! Now if only it worked... It was locked, like all the other plasma gals, and while brainers reassured me that soon they'll get all of them unlocked, they didn't say when that "soon" would happen!

Radar runt spoke about another big ship. Not like the previous one, but still to dangerous to shoot down.

And, after another round of sorting through personnel (peasants needed training, so I gave them one, with exception of Civilian Handling Team at Dioxine Labs), Groove Sauna was all set and ready to tackle another undead freighter!

Sadly, the mission was not without losses: a zombie trooper ran straight to the car and punch straight through it, killing Vita Goldstein. A few gals got set on fire, but survived.

18-22 - Jan-2602

Uneventful days. Brainers finally got the hang of interrogation and started to pass the knowledge to the runts. Runts, undeterred by knowledge, finished the second Hunter-Killer and started working on Spy Zeppelin, for, well, spying and them sneaky missions. Speaking of them - we can finally start looking for vulnerable mansions full of loot!

Oh, the bandits for some reason sent a mosquito fighter, probably to hunt innocent shipping. Instead, it found 2 fighters and Molester, which was a bit of overkill. Piloted by lone hitman, it did not offer any resistance on the ground.


Another military ship! After some flying around, it landed, presenting us with golden opportunity. Unfortunately...

it was Mercenaries. Tougher, better armed, better armored, and generally not stupid. They opted to wait for us as much as we waited for them. After killing those few nearby and grabbing their guns, the girls took a few minutes taking potshots at whoever they saw, and dropping explosives left and right, but, after seeing a freaking hovertank with glittering blue shields, an unanimous decision to run away was accepted.


Raiding academy outposts had become just as much a routine for us as running them was for academy. The academicians themselves hid around buildings nearby, wasting our time. Ugh, can't they just be cooperative for once?

Radars picked up another of those big ships.


Brainers somehow managed to convince some magical shop to sell us supposedly nice magical things. I only had to take a look at price tags before deciding it was not worth it.
Aside from two civilian crafts and an ambulance (which was shot over the ocean because the pilot just couldn't wait), there was also a sea adventure. The informants gave me that spot a few days ago, but only now i had time to assemble a team and send the Sauna in. Just as quickly they got out, mouthing "those damn sharkmen" off. Okay.

26-27 - Jan-2602

Only thing of note is the watchtower.


A megapol interceptor gave our fighters a bloody nose and a few days of repairs. We did get a detective alive out it, though.


Warehouse wars and ratman rodeo. Two last missions for the crews to partake in this month. Car drivers had a lot of fun, blowing holes in walls and people with their heavy machine guns.

30-31 - Jan-2602

And a quiet end to my term. Fifteen minutes before the end of month we had a third freighter shot down, and then I was told my (and future captains) reign is only to last one month. Well, so be it. Hopefully I didn't angered any future leaders enough to send me off to die or something.

Offline Solarius Scorch

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Re: Uber Piratey Squad Inaction (Collaborative AAR)
« Reply #44 on: July 30, 2019, 07:33:20 pm »
All hail to the Lord of Crossroads, for His gifts are endless and incomprehensible. May I prove worthy to choose the right path and bring glory to my kin.

Why so religious, you ask? Well, it's not an everyday thing that you win control over a pirate base in a game of cards. These big girls are so cute, I didn't even have to cheat! And it all started with an argument over how pirates are supposed to do things, which is why I challenged Cap'n to a game of strategy and wits (namely Old MAid, but that's all they really can play), and it ended predictably... So I was given full control over this fine establishment for a whole month. Who's the boss? Solaria Scorchese is the boss! The first Lokk'Naar Captain! Me! Me! Me me me!

So I announced my ascendancy to the throne (some crew members had to be told a few times to grasp it...) and proceeded to familiarize myself with the job. My first thought was something like this:

"Shit. This is hard."

But me and the girls (I mean the other Lokks) are the smartest after all, so after a few hours we mastered all but the finest points of battle tactics, production, trade, social engineering and natural medicine. And then, just when I decided to get some Chateau to celebrate, the radar runt barged into my quarters.

"Uh... Who are you?"
"What the hell? I'm the Captain."
"'re the new Captain?"
"Yes, yes I am. Why is this so bloody surprising?"
"But you're so... tiny!"

I knew this was going to be an issue, so I climbed onto my Captain's Chair (a nice, metal one) and pulled her by the ear. "What attitude is this, you landlubber!? You want to get walk the plank or what!"
"Ow. Okay, okay, whatever, you're the Captain. So what do we do about that shot down shipping?"
"The shipping. We made it crash in Canada hours ago..."
"Oh. How big is it?"
"It's pretty big, Captain."

I released her ear and headed straight to the radar. Indeed, it was there, just south to the Big Canadian Bay of Canada, or whatever it's called.

"O-kay. Let's roll."

As I learned, this was supposed to be a freighter, probably full of the walking dead. Well, this wouldn't deter us, especially under my brilliant leadership (it's important to remember that, it raises morale, especially my own). I quickly assembled my dream team aboard the Groove Sauna. Ten hard-boiled uber beasties, Yuki Icebringer in her armoured car, and of course, moi!

We waited until dawn and landed nearby. The undead were there, all right.

I've heard that these Sentinels were pretty troublesome, so I'm not going to ignore this one!

Things were getting complicated quickly:

So I decided to pull back a bit. Neptunia, who was hit with an assault rifle, went back inside, and I rubbed some healing lotion into her superficial wound. (Geez, those muscles are like steel wires covered with delicate Reaper hide.) Yuki in her car provided some cover fire on anything approaching the Sauna. Melissa with a wheeled machine gun and Tunacious Luna with a sniper rifle took cover near the front door, and Luna skillfully dealt with the Firebitch Zombie.

It's a pity there was even a corpse left after this.

But Sentinels were approaching, and shooting their front was mostly just wasting ammo, so I recalled all our scouts inside, including Yuki. We'll try to lure them closer, to deal with them the old way.

I managed to successfully eliminate several threats, and everything was peachy... And then, Pretty Melissa died. Just like that.
Farewell Melissa, we hardly knew ye.

After this, we collectively went medieval on the buggers and saturated them with enough lead to poison half the planet. The loot was okay, but the bad taste remained. Still, I don't think this death could be prevented - who knew a half-dead Sentinel would run across half the map and just end a gal with one attack?

Just after we got home, we detected another vessel. I sent a Kraken to investigate, but it was just a civilian; not worth the effort, and not glamorous. There's been enough death today.

I thought being the Captain would be easier.
« Last Edit: July 30, 2019, 07:35:03 pm by Solarius Scorch »