Author Topic: XPiratez: FanFiction and High Adventures in Alternate Timelines  (Read 542 times)

Offline mercy

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You had an absolutely fantastic, fabulous mission! So you decide to tell your Pirate-Tale, converted into something that will surely be  celebrated like a blockbuster novel!  :D

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....................  OR    ..................
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High Adventures in Alternate Timelines:

You changed a couple things in XPiratez?

- Oh, just this and this, here & there!™©℗® 

.. and it resulted in bombastic experiences!
So because You Are a Natural: you decide to share it with us Highly Esteemed Community here .. in a mixed 'Fashion & Form', which is a Captains Log and Short Story!   ;)
« Last Edit: August 20, 2019, 01:04:06 pm by mercy »

Offline Solarius Scorch

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Re: XPiratez: FanFiction and High Adventures in Alternate Timelines
« Reply #1 on: August 20, 2019, 12:53:53 pm »
Feel free to lead by example. :P

Offline mercy

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Re: XPiratez: FanFiction and High Adventures in Alternate Timelines
« Reply #2 on: August 20, 2019, 02:09:48 pm »
The Crate Brigade

Captains log. Month four, day 8.




It was a sizzling hot summer day high in the atmosphere. Under the intense blue sky floated a sea of white fluffy clouds.  The civilian passengers of the tourist airbus were peering out from the windows and through the opened roof, which the driver let down for them, in true 'city-tour bus'-fashion. Some were excitedly chattering like birds about the beautiful sights. Some breathlessly tried to absorb the stunning visuals. Everybody was constantly turning their heads here and there. Their idyllic luxury-cruise was soon disturbed by a black swirl of engine-smoke in the distance. The passengers strained their eyes to see what it was. They gasped in distress: it looked like an angry black bear chasing down an unfortunate forest-hunter and sounded like it too!
The foreboding aerial apparition was swiftly closing in with roaring jet-noise. Upon seeing this, fear struck into their sheepish tourist hearts! They could already hear the drunken screams, the ululating howls of what could only be:
- Oh, my gosh, cannibals!

But they heard more! Horny yells, vulgar animal sounds, whistling of seamen - or in this case seawomen! - was coming from the shoddy craft that looked like it will fall apart any second. Already, large pieces separated from it and where hurled into the dizzying depths below. The bus driver let out a surprised gasp and called everyone's attention to a Megapol ship speeding among the clouds below:
 - Look! We are saved! The police is here!
 A sleek, blue police cruiser emerged from the sea of clouds. Its freshly polished surface was proudly glinting in the sunlight and its modern engines made a reassuring electronic whine. The civilians were proudly applauding their saviors and became jubilant, when the police blasted white laser beams toward the pirates. Then the Megapol vessel was forced to make a sharp turn, barely avoiding another large piece of junk that fell off the pirate vessel. The avoided junk immediately exploded.
 Upon seeing this, a series of disappointed yelps and hoots came from the pirate craft as it changed direction and was expertly closing in on the police vessel like a predator bird swooping down onto a barking puppy. The tourists watched in disbelief as the police tried to outmaneuver the pirates without much success.
 One elderly lady couldn't contain herself and asked thoroughly confused:
 - Why is the police fleeing from the brigands? Shouldn't it be the exact opposite?
 By this time the tourist airbus got dangerously close to the skirmish: it somehow drifted right between the police and the pirates. Civilian heads were following the exchange of shots, just like in tennis.
 Then the passengers realized those sizeable pieces of junk must be some kind of weapon, because one very muscular and very nude mutant female leaned out of the window and hurled another such  "junk" toward the police aircar. The Airball would have missed, but it was hit by a turbulence hurtling it right toward the sparkling blue police vessel. The civilians followed the strange projectile with their eyes as it struck the engine of the Megapol Aircar. They saw a blob of black smoke spreading silently then moments later the loud bang of the detonation reached them. The police aircar squealed like a cut pig as its turbines were dying with agonizing, electronic groans. Suddenly it lost velocity and fell out of the sky, leaving a thick smoke trail as it disappeared under the clouds. Wild and euphoric screams of celebration came from the pirate vessel, as it lurched itself after its prey, but the hapless tourist airbus was in their way.
 As the pirate craft whizzed by, time slowed down for the civilians: for a few moments they watched - with open mouths -  the completely nude bunch of insanely muscular mutant females leaning out of windows and through missing sections of the roof. The tourists were especially shocked, because the large breasts and thick limbs of the drunken bunch were flailing around like the arms of some flying, giant octopus creature.. Coming from the craft of the pirates, white spittle and yellow piss rained down on the tourists who were still staring with their mouths agape.. Then suddenly they were alone. Everything stood silent. The bus driver finally collected himself, switched the airbus into gear and fled toward home at top speed.
 Under the clouds there was a giant column of thick black smoke. It led down, right into a carnage on the ground. Close to the wrecked police aircar the pirate vessel landed with an earthshaking  "THUNK!". The back door blasted open. An impossibly muscular, red skinned, cherry blonde mutant female emerged. She quickly apprised the situation and let out an ear-piercing scream:
 - YIEEHHAAAAAW!! Dick me dead, bury me pregnant!
 Then she turned her head inside their craft:
 - I want dis' done before dinner, you imbeciles! Bring out the crates!
 On command, three of her muscular underlings with astonishing female curves and well trained in throwing big weights, jumped out right after her. They were carrying heavy, unwieldy crates and ran towards the badly dented and smoking police vessel.
 The side of the Megapol Aircar let out a hydraulic whine. Its blue wide door opened and a squad of mutant wolf beastmen stormed out in unison, brandishing their weapons, ready to meet the pirates. Seeing this well prepared attack, the cherry blonde female brute screamed at the top of her voice:
 - Heave ho'!! Buurn them!
 Three Crates of Violence were hurled toward the charging police. There was a loud cracking noise as the containers exploded and spread fire all over the place. The armored wolfmen howled in pain as they were roasted alive, then fell to the ground, one after another. The crate-packed explosives destroyed the police car door and its entire wall section, leaving a critical opening in the vessel. The rest of the pirate crew quickly moved into position and began laying down fire on the exposed couple of police pigs inside the burning craft.
 A vicious battle erupted. The Elite of the Beastmen Police, the Pig Troopers, had thick armor and were well trained in all kinds shootings. They knew their job: ruthlessly destroy all criminals, no matter the odds! As a result, more than half of the untrained pirates - most of them newbies - were massacred by gunfire: their dead bodies continued to burn on the ground. Then when the pirates seemed to loose the battle, the one remaining underling from the throwing-experts managed to hurl another explosive crate right into the middle of the Megapol Aircar. The entire carframe gave out a loud "KRAK!" in the mighty explosion - as pilot chairs and flight controls melted or simply disintegrated from the intense heat. The air was filled with the howls of dying, armored Pig Beastmen and the smell of roasted meat. Then there was total silence. The massacre finally came to an end.
 When the pirates emerged from behind cover, whole bodies and pieces of police pigs were twitching on the sizzling floor. The pirates made a neat heap of their fallen enemies and hauled a large freezer out from their craft. They drew razor sharp billhooks and made themselves busy with hacking off the limbs of some still moaning police beastmen, throwing the twitching bodyparts into the freezer. Their ranking officer, the red skinned, large blonde female was covered in coagulating beast-blood from head to toe as she instructed the newbies:
 - You scurvy wenches! Leave the armor on their limbs! We roast 'em beasties that way, and they'll taste amazing on open fire!
« Last Edit: August 20, 2019, 03:11:13 pm by mercy »

Offline Dioxine

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Re: XPiratez: FanFiction and High Adventures in Alternate Timelines
« Reply #3 on: August 31, 2019, 09:10:18 pm »
Good stuff, kudos!