Author Topic: Uber Piratey Squad Inaction (Collaborative AAR)  (Read 4605 times)

Offline Marza

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Re: Uber Piratey Squad Inaction (Collaborative AAR)
« Reply #45 on: August 04, 2019, 03:33:31 pm »
To be fair, the description and the plan for the collaborative AAR is in a completely separate thread. I think it would be worthwhile to edit in some of the major details from that thread into this thread's OP so that complete newcomers know what's going on.

Offline Solarius Scorch

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Re: Uber Piratey Squad Inaction (Collaborative AAR)
« Reply #46 on: August 05, 2019, 12:03:49 am »
They say that sleeping on a problem often makes it go away, or at least be less scary. I have no idea who came up with this, but they were clearly a wise person.
I started the new day by kicking some giantesses from their beds and sending them off to train. If we are to be feared and respected - not to mention alive - we need more training! I am not a slacker myself, as a Commissar needs to lead by example. I'd like a highly trained Lokk'Naar retinue to accompany me, but this has to wait - muscletanks go first.
Just before midnight, we spotted a bandit vessel over the Autonomy. I ordered Hunter Killer 2 from Legion Farm to approach and engage the target. The machine was piloted by Lori Blockbuster and Beth Grimdark. Unfortunately the enemy prove too strong for them, and after the encounter it looked like this:



I congratulated the team on their survival (they're my homies after all) and ordered the plane to be renamed to Hunter-Bleeder. And then I sent the Kraken. (I actually used the words of power, "RELEASE THE KRAKEN! Never gets old). And the Kraken made a big mess of the enemy craft, creating another ground mission. Sauna was ready.



The only real threats were mercilessly shot with machine guns:



Well, it's not exactly true... There was a Hitman behind this whole operation. But he had no chance in melee encounter with two overcharged muscle melee wizards. We had some good loot.

Two days later, we got a notification from the Zaxx Traxx about an indebted priest. It was a fast and mostly clean job.

Another day, another easy mission. I guess I'm getting into it, no? this time it was a Church watchtower. I swear it was a team effort, but Lyudmila had the most fun.



After this, I took a stroll down to the labs. The weirdos were quite busy and almost stomped each other as each "science leader" tried to impress me with her latest invention, and I admit, I was impressed. There were bullets which electrocuted the target, a humongous flamethrower, some new guns... But the biggest and shiniest was a prototype Gauss cannon for our vessels.

Offline LytaRyta

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Re: Uber Piratey Squad Inaction (Collaborative AAR)
« Reply #47 on: August 05, 2019, 10:35:58 am »
..but hey, where just dissappeared that text (by Marza, if i hav seen it rigt)

yap. such a bit .."piccant" text :P lôl, just few hours ago (yesterday, yesterday night..

(but i just didnt catch it whole, to read (or, as i see, better save to doc :D :/ :/(


Marza, pls could yu send it to me, on pm ?

Offline LytaRyta

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Re: Uber Piratey Squad Inaction (Collaborative AAR)
« Reply #48 on: August 05, 2019, 10:37:34 am »
hehh, as always -best "parts" are just -illegal,  prohibited,
--or just quick dissappearing :o :D

Offline Dioxine

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Re: Uber Piratey Squad Inaction (Collaborative AAR)
« Reply #49 on: August 08, 2019, 09:09:49 pm »
I think woever wrote that just lacked the balls to go through with it, so deleted it quickly.

Offline Solarius Scorch

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Re: Uber Piratey Squad Inaction (Collaborative AAR)
« Reply #50 on: August 12, 2019, 10:06:52 pm »
The Molester had a bad day today. Hilda Bunkerbuster followed a small vessel and attempted to intercept it, but it prove way tougher than expected. Luckily, the pilot had a rare case of common sense and got the hell out in time, so the damage isn't irreparable.

Our next mission was a crackhouse. These wimps again? We will completely destroy them with our machine guns and electronic weapons! And we have a freaking panzerkampfwagen!





And today's Darwin Award goes to this bozo, who shot the aforementioned panzerkampfwagen with birdshot. That was some violent reaction.



Skellie went to have adventures of their own for a while.



The battle concluded without fail. We took the smart dick alive, along one of his juves, and the rest was taken care of. Whew, the whole district will surely remember us for years. So much blood...

Anyway. Soon after, I got a present.



Now, this is it! A bit too crude for a fines warrior like me (with a medical slicer no less!), but the beasties will love it! Or.. I will teach them to love it...

Guess whom we met next. Necropirates! Those old bags are still around! Helga could take her revenge upon the world in general and hit them hard. they crashed in the Arctic ice, where they would probably be eaten by white platybears anyway, but you know us... we always want to see the corpse.

So we took the Sauna to Arctica. There isn't much to tell, except when Wanda Ledger got shot in the side and I patch her up perfectly. She was unscathed. Yay!
Oh, and we sold two surviving Necropirates. By The Golden Emperor, who buys this shit?!

EDIT:
Save attached.
« Last Edit: August 13, 2019, 09:43:12 pm by Solarius Scorch »

Offline Iazo

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Re: Uber Piratey Squad Inaction (Collaborative AAR)
« Reply #51 on: August 28, 2019, 04:25:01 pm »
Sigh.

Why does this happen to me? It has been almost a year since I bailed on the dweebs. Jack's town is a shanty town but no one knows me here. *Obviously* I was seeing Savage Basilisk on the side, but lately she has become increasingly sad and depressed. Came crying to me because the 'leaders' the piratical enterprise were increasingly unhinged and/or weird. And people kept DYING. She was longing for the days when we were a bunch of insane gals punching nurses in the face for giggles and money. Apparently, they even have a Lokk'Nar smalltit gal pretend to be leader right now.

She put on an adorable pout and large puppy eyes and asked if I could help her. Damn it. This is not supposed to happen!! I can also pout and have puppy eyes, why can't I persuade people like that too?!

Ok, so I had her put some very trusty runts of hers to lay down some computers here in my house. NO WAY I am walking in that stinkden, mainly because I heard they like 'interrogate' traitors. But we'll work something out, I am sure of it. I told her that I am doing this for HER and after one month this foolishness has to stop! And hopefully no one will be wiser.

This idea is stupid. This is stupid. Why am I doing this? I am stupid. This is stupid. This will not end well.

Fucking dweebs.
« Last Edit: August 28, 2019, 05:02:22 pm by Iazo »

Offline Iazo

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Re: Uber Piratey Squad Inaction (Collaborative AAR)
« Reply #52 on: September 03, 2019, 04:05:08 pm »
13Feb2602

After a brief debate, Basilisk informed me that the shortstack was put in her place and sent to be captain over an Armored Car instead. Works for me. The first order of business: I reviewed the manufacturing orders and shortlists. I am fairly sure that the Brainers are completely insane, so I hid from the shortlist any particularly stupid inventions. I then contacted the various black market contacts we know, and told them to stop bothering me trying to sell me crap like flamer fuel. Who the fuck uses flamers?! I kept on the short list only reasonably useful gear.

I found out that since the last time I've been in charge, they've cobbled together quite a fleet of ...ships? In any case, I wanted to look through the inventory for those, but I changed my mind once I saw the assortment of junk inside. Apparently, everyone orders equipment to the ship, but no one takes it out until the ship is decommissioned. Not even gonna bother.

There's been quite a few new pirate safe-houses installed all over, mostly with a few hicks in them who spend their time tilling and plowing random fields growing mutated plants. Also, apparently they had 5 million dolaroos in the bank! So, like anybody else, I contracted some hicks not too far from our primary base and told them to make one more. Apparently, they're stepping stones for better hideouts.

I also found out that the hideout defenses were woefully inadequate. So, I ordered new construction to be undertaken. The security screening to enter a hideout now passes through dog pens. I also started ordering 40 or so dogs at each hideout. AND NONE OF THOSE FANCY NAMES FOR DOGS. I don't want to be bothered by dweebs that their favourite pet died. Fido is a pet but Doggo#45 is a WARDOG. Also, some crazy old lady named Hannah is selling us military-grade demolition explosives. I got a few for our doggos.

And finally, I took a look at the roster. I mandated some SERIOUS training, even at the expense of dweebs' health. Basilisk tells me there were a lot of loafers around so I made sure everyone who did not fill an otherwise critical role to go and have some 'playtime' with the dogs in the Beast Dens. Not even veterans were excluded. Lets the grunts know that no one is resting on their laurels.

Spoiler:

Airballs?! Wat.

Amazingly, I got all this done in about 1 hour. Weird how time doesn't fly when you're not having fun. In any case, there was a leftover request from Jack to go crack some heads in a warehouse, so I sent the dweebs in the Molester to do just that. While they were en-route, apparently, some mutant shanty town ended up under attack, an civilian ship was spotted flying around, and Zaxx decided he wanted some sunken money RIGHT NOW.

What. The. Fu.

I sent an old battered 'interceptor' named Hunter-Bleeder after the civilian ship and told the shortstacks inside to not bleed too much over them. We have to liberate their pockets.

Spoiler:

Welcome. We have prepared a welcoming mission package for you.

I told Basilisk I changed my mind but she wanted to hear none of it. She would take the groove Sauna and some elite gals to stop the massacre. As she was leaving, she told me that the runts finished installing windows on most of our crafts, so that everyone can admire the view outside while en-route. Apparently, no one was concerned about mooks shooting inside, clamoring for BOLD ACTION this or that.

I hate them. So. Very. Much.

14Feb2602

I WILL KILL THEM ALL. They HURT my Basilisk! How is this possible? I thought the armor and the Armored Car would be enough to slap the so called 'superior' humanists around, but when MY basilisk tried to grant first air to one of their leadership, they SHOT her!! Now she's badly injured. How horrible. The humanist scum will pay for this, their leaders have been imprisoned and I will take great pleasure in squeezing everything out of them. I moved them to some backwater base named Neptune's Domain. It should be easy to slip in and out of it without the hubub of the main bases.

Spoiler:

Captured 2 instructors and a leader. Admiral clothes are more durable than they seem.

In other news, the civilians landed in a swamp, but I hear the guys in the Groove Sauna partied hard. They had an orgy right in the cockpit, instead of actually doing what they were sent there to do and they reported their spirits being much improved from the experience.

I have no words. Where the hell did they get drugs so strong??? In other words...I guess some things never change.

Spoiler:

Apt name for this ship, I guess.

Later:

Busy day today. Is this how it's usually around here? Are we the United Notions or whatever? Do we have to save every village of dirty peasants or mutants? I mean, it's slightly better than being a wanted criminal, but this is getting old.

Some so-called ninjas thought to bully the shortstacks. Despicable.

Spoiler:

Boring.

Later:


I managed to outfit the Groove Sauna for underwater combat, and I sent it to recover Zaxx' soggy money. It was very annoying to have to do that. I have taken the liberty to comission a new Turtle from...actually, I don't know where they come from. Odd. I just asked for it, and the runts came up with it. Oh well, I flagged it to ship to Port Opportunity. Eventually, I plan on putting just underwater equipment in it, and send it for further underwater adventures. This way, I don't have to keep telling runts to put in and take out water sensitive stuff from the Sauna. Some of them might ask question if their remote work order keeps being messed around with.

Spoiler:

Spoiler Alert. I never actually end up using it.

15Feb2602

I had SOME sleep last night. Basilisk also had some sleep. It's great having her around....maybe she should be wounded more often? I've been thinking...If she's wounded, the brainers will ask her to bed rest and there's no chance of getting shot. I should ponder this philosophy more...in order to not get shot, you first have to get shot.

Radar Runt raised the base in a ruckus again. Good thing I'm not actually in the base. I had Basilisk order a chase. Turns out it was a Runabout, but I asked her to not engage it. Piracy is a crime and crime doesn't pay. If it would land, I'd consider assaulting it and taking everyone by surprise. But shooting it down would risk uncovering our vessel hideouts.

Spoiler:

Nice ship.


17Feb2602

Oh good, world police needs to clean someone's basement. Took the dweebs out for some target practice.

Spoiler:

Extermination service.

19Feb2602

I take that back, I want the rat hunting back. The rest is too much work.

So, Basilisk got into a shouting match with Zaxx about his stupid soggy money. His bank said that if we want to do something more worthwhile than barn leveling or underwater dredging, they'll come up with something befitting our stature for next month. This doesn't sound good.

A communication tower belonging to the Academy was raided today, too. I forgot to check the reports on that, so hopefully everything went ok.

As the day drew to a close, we suddenly god a laundry list of messages to our computer. Oh dear. First, a civilian ship was downed by some hotshot lokknaar in some base. An informant told us there's a large quantity of money at a new temple, the Mutant Alliance wants us to handle some traitors, and some diver found an old sea wreck.

It's late, why is there so much work when it's late?

Spoiler:

More work?

20Feb2602

Alright, I managed to sort out the reports today. The damaged civilian ship was recovered with no problem and no impromptu orgies. The Sea Wreck was investigated. There were some crabs in it and an amphore. Pff, why did I bother?

More importantly, the Molester crew managed to haul the money from the temple.

Spoiler:

Money.

The Mutant Alliance would have preferred that the traitors would be summarily executed...but they know some stuff that we want to know so the gals took them alive. That said, there's a barrel bomb missing from the inventory....what did they DO down there? Also, there was an orgy at some point (I think this is becoming a common theme in the Sauna), but I can't very well reprimand the dweeebs without joining the traitors in their cell, so I'd let that slide.

Spoiler:

Got shot a bunch of times, and the map was icky.

21Feb2602

Scouts located a previously unknown Guild Warehouse. Time to liberate it.

Spoiler:

Wenches and wrenches.

22Feb2602

A landed ship! I think every base now has a Radar Runt. Good think their alarm system is tied in to the base overview in my house. Anyway, we sent the fastest ship available, Molester. Turns out, it was a Raider ship. They were promptly subdued. No orgies today.

Spoiler:

Fire. Obviously.

23Feb2602

Civilian ship. Time for the default orgy in cases like this. Sigh. At least it seems that all the sexing is good workout.

Spoiler:

Fire. Obviously.
« Last Edit: September 07, 2019, 06:33:04 pm by Iazo »

Offline Iazo

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Re: Uber Piratey Squad Inaction (Collaborative AAR)
« Reply #53 on: October 12, 2019, 06:54:55 pm »
24Feb2602

Today, Savage Basilisk surprised the hell out of me. She showed up at my house in the following dress. After I was done picking my jaw off the floor, she said that she had a great idea. She was gonna take this lil' thing into battle, cause it helps the gals project their innate most common superpower. I told her to stop spending time with crackheaded Brainers, this is ridiculous. Nope. And what's with the superconductive mesh undershirt? I know I told her that she's ridiculously hot, but I didn't mean it *literally*.

She would have none of it. I'm fairly sure that once the gals get wind of this, we're back to the pantsless raids. And everything was going so well...

Spoiler:

Sexxxy.

Later:

Gals went out to 'punish' the naughty Humanists. Of course, that meant an orgy and a misuse of whips. THOSE ARE NOT TOYS. Sigh.

Spoiler:

I think I will have to ask Basilisk to confiscate their drugs.

25Feb2602

Today was a good day. Finally, we are set to STOP stealing power from the powergrid. This can only mean their hideouts can become better hidden! I am ecstatic, that means less chance of a random engineer finding out who's eating all the power.

Spoiler:

Base reshuffling in progress.

Later:

Of course. I expected too much from the dweebs. Basilisk informed me that a bunch of them took off in the Sauna, and they whipped some random civilians into slavery. Ah yes, nothing like a bit of celebratory slavery to highlight a new chapter of them becoming law abiding citizens who steal no power.

Spoiler:

I think I will have to ask Basilisk to confiscate their drugs. FOR REAL THIS TIME.

28Feb2602

The end of the month is here.

As always, while I'm not paying attention, THIS happens. I guess that, while Basilisk is spending more time offbase, this means that the dweebs feel like they have free reign in bullying random passerbys!

Spoiler:

Yeah, I don't know how they keep hotboxing in there, Basilisk said there's no weed missing from the stores. They must be using something else.

END OF MONTH

Despite doing well, we didn't add up the accounting books correctly, and Basilisk said there was a mini-riot among the Brainers, until she bribed the most vocal ones with their own personal ship engines from the vaults. I have no idea how that makes any sense, but she told me to not worry about it.

Spoiler:

Base redecoration is expensive.

3Mar2602

Ah, a new month, new possibilities! A warehouse needed liberation, and Basilisk personally led a team in recovering the good items within. Apparently, some gals started to mimic Basilisk's fashion sense, and I'm told that the most common superpower (boobs) is great in making puny men faint! I bet that most of the work was done by the second most common superpower (cattle prods).

Spoiler:

I don't think these gals thought everything through properly.

Later:

Oh godfuckingdamnit. NO. NO. THIS WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN. Today we lost one. This was tragic. And it's my fault....I should have been more insistent that everybody should be combat ready at all times. I promised Basilisk I won't let other people come to harm. I failed...

Radar runt came in hot and yelled at everybody to get ready cause a LARGE one was chilling on the ground. Basilisk was on point with assigning a team to the Sauna, and she lead the raid personally. Unfortunately, despite my halfhearted pleas, she did not dress for combat, so could not take part in the carnage that subsequently occurred. They landed in the north of Europe at night to a cacophony of moaning (and not the good kind of moaning). I was on the live feed attempting to direct information to Basilisk. Unfortunately, from the reports I had, they only briefly met these creatures before, but they were not TOO dangerous, nor very armored and rather slow. She cautiously directed the assault team to pick up volume of fire weapons and set up a perimeter.

Spoiler:

Zombees!


The problem soon became apparent. Some of those zombies were armored. Someone fucking put armor on the zombies! And some were shooting back! And they had really good weapons. Island Doctor ended up with a bunch of serious burns and some gnarly holes in her armor...but Unjust Throat died. She was there one moment, and gone the next. Just like that. Solaria Scorchese emptied a whole machine gun belt into that FUCKING ZOMBIE but it was too late. Nurse could not help our fallen.

Spoiler:

Fucking zombee sentinel.

I am still in shock. Feels like nothing is real anymore. It's my fault. Maybe if I insisted Basilisk brought a gun to a gun fight instead of a boob, newbie would have still been alive. We won, but all the loot feels like dust to me now.

Spoiler:

RIP newbie.

4Mar2602

Today I'm still feeling pretty stupid. Which is unfortunate. A rare opportunity to hit a city center has arisen. Only humans were allowed inside, but Basilisk wore herMY intimidating Admiral clothes, and apparently no one checked her lack of proper paperwork. Other than that, the little buggy they brought along was quite useful, with Igor Malkovich running around and prodding people with his prod like a cavalier of old. Basilisk kept everyone in check and they kept casualties to a minimum.

Spoiler:

A nice city outing.

Later:

An opportunity to clear up a ratman camp appeared. Running dangerously low on people able to pick up a gun, many are still nursing wounds.

Spoiler:

Die, rats, die.

« Last Edit: October 12, 2019, 08:29:20 pm by Iazo »

Offline Iazo

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Re: Uber Piratey Squad Inaction (Collaborative AAR)
« Reply #54 on: October 12, 2019, 08:37:07 pm »
6Mar2602

I am still kinda shook, but an opportunity arose today. Zaxx called Basilisk and told her that if she wants something befitting this ragtag band of unwashed pirates, they'd better retrieve some heavily armored important enemy VIP alive from an underground bunker. Basilisk got into a shouting match with him again. Oh well.

The rest of the mooks had to die. The underground bunker was pretty crowded and claustrophobic which lent itself to some serious ambushing.

Spoiler:

Camping doors? Cowardly? psh.
« Last Edit: October 17, 2019, 10:21:23 pm by Iazo »