A tale from the XCom secret archives.
It was Captain K.'s first mission, yet he was sure of success. He beamed with assurance, so even if some rookies in the Skyranger didn't understand everything of his fiery victory speech, as he was speaking a rather broken English, they were still instilled with courage and boldness, especially when he started waving his Samurai sword around (camera footage shows that he was inches from cutting Sergeant Zander's face).
Even as the soldiers were running down the ramp into the hellish plasma barrage, he was still shouting encouragements from the rear. Once he made sure everyone was well clear of the ramp, he punched the "close" button (which, as everyone knows, immediately starts "take off and return to base" sequence in Skyranger's electronic brain).
Commander Andianov was rather troubled. He looked at Captain K. gravely, and said, "Captain. Your report says you gave yourself an 'Excellent' rating for your first mission. However, you've returned empty-handed and without any soldiers. What happened?"
"It's all their fault, Sir. It would've been the best mission in the history of XCom, that's self evident. Only these spineless traitors have abandoned me!"
"I see. Do you have any proof of that?"
"Sure I do, Sir. Now everyone is monkeying my inventive tactics of going down the ramp to leave the Skyranger. These shameless copycats!"
"I see. Well, Captain... in the old times, my superiors would've given you a free ticket to one of many vacation resorts they've built all over Siberia. But I think I have a more fitting solution. There is one facility at the base almost no-one knows about. You see, we didn't know how aliens would be like. Evil, insidious, subversive, megalomaniac, who knew? The Queen of Egypt proposed another likely scenario: aliens who aren't really bad, just needy, egotistic, ungrateful, disrespectful and generally kind-of-well-intended a-holes. With some reservations, we still thought preparing a special facility for them according to her proposal was a right thing to do."
"I thought I knew all of the base. Where is this facility? And what is it?"
"You're standing on top of it, Captain," said Andianov with a weary look, reaching for the release handle. "And it's an alligator pit."