The Base Defense Disaster(attempt at a narrative)

[Taberone]

(This is an attempt at a narrative.)
XCOM has suffered a major setback.



Base defense. The base was being attacked, and the only defenders were a panicky bunch of morons. A rookie managed to blow herself up with the Auto Cannon.


Susanna was the first one to ever use a Blaster Launcher.


Soldier1: "GOOD GOD TAKING FIRAGAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
A floater opened the Access Lift and opened fire.
Soldier2: "Have no fear....."

Soldier 2: "I have the grenade launcher. Eat this, Floater scum!"



Soldier 2: "What BS is this? Who the hell decided to play on Superhuman difficulty?"


Susanna: "I'll fire the Blaster Launcher when you spot an alien in the hangar!"


Soldier 3: "Sweet jesus a reaper holycarp save me dart rifle"
Soldier 4: "Isn't that a Terror From The Deep gun?"


Magdalena: "3 Floaters and a Reaper spotted! Opening up on them with a shotgun!"

(That purple thing right underneath the floater is the Blaster Launcher missile)

Magdalena: "BLASTER LAUNCHER HEADED RIGHT FOR ME---"



Magdalena: "Susanna, why are you screwing around with the Blaster Launcher and aiming it for yourself? You going to make it spin around and blow them up or....?"
Susanna: "THAT IS NOT MY BLASTER---"



Soldier 2: "GOOD GOD, GET ME OUT OF THIS PLACE!"
Soldier 7:"WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!"
*Sounds of mass panic and chaos*


Magdalena: "Susanna! NO!"


Jorge: "BETTER TO DIE THAN TO BE KILLED BY ALIENS!"      (Gunshots can be heard, along with further shouting. It is presumed that Jorge committed suicide.)
Soldier 2: "WHY ARE WE EVEN PLAYING ON SUPERHUMAN DIFFICUL---"      (It is at this point that Soldier 2 passed out from injuries.)


Kornel: (Profanities in a foreign language can be heard.)


Emil:What a bunch of wimps. Lets finish off the aliens! CHARGE!
Hassan:I do not think that the Reaper will die from tha---



(CHOMP)
(Screams can be hard.)

Soldier 7: "We're cornered! May the floaters have mercy on us--- hey, why do they have our stun ro----  HOLY---"
(Soldier 7 is stunned.)
Soldier 4: "Please, no!"
(It can be presumed that the remaining survivors were captured or killed.)

[Taberone]

Meanwhile, on the other side of the globe...





Sata: "CHRYSSALIDS!"
(Laser fire and a chryssalid death cry can be heard.)



Jarate Master 96: "Watch out for that thing! Its going to return fire!"
(The Snakeman returns fire and hits ZhangTehSniper. I wasn't able to screenshot that. ZhangTehSniper was carrying a zero primed high explosive which exploded on the next turn.)



(BOOM)



Cui Ushi: ".........................."



Cui Ushi: "Screw this, I'm out of here. Lets go back to the base."



Cui Ushi: "Guys, I'm hom---"
(Cui Ushi notices that Xcom's third base is destroyed.)
Cui Ushi: "Godamn."



Greco: I get promoted to commander, right? The previous one died.

[Solarius Scorch]

Epic.
Honestly, my guys aren't that entertaining.

[AlienMuncher]

Well, there is only one thing to say to Death's face: not today. I guess Death must have had trouble hearing your guys down there...

Seems to me wherever your crew is, mayham swiftly follows...