Limericks

[The Reaver of Darkness]

The limerick starts with a long line
The next one rhymes with it just fine
Then it all changes
Short rhyme arranges
Finally back to the first rhyme last line


Skyranger lands, first out is the tank
Go forth, it'll be easy I thank
Shots ring out across
Look at what I've lost
Front of the Skyranger is blank


There once was a man from Cydonia
Handsome, his breath smelled of ammonia
Skin grey as the skies
And his big, dark eyes
Go up and shake his hand, why don' ya


The first craft shoots down all that it can see
The next one is just not my cup of tea
Lightning after Firestorm
Is crap my final form?
One starts to wonder about this research tree


Aliens are coming, hide in sewer goo
Get in the poo, your friend can come too
So you look at me
All covered in pee
You wanted a dirty limerick, didn't you?

[mumble]

You start out with pistols and wit
wearing nothing but clothes which stop shit
then you do some research
unlock better gun merch
and get armed to the teeth with new kit

Terror at night is a bitch
makes you wish there was just a light switch
But you can shoot in the dark
And still hit your mark
if your luck matches your shot and its pitch.

[The Reaver of Darkness]

Your first set of weapons suck
To kill with them requires luck
Maybe all goes well
Maybe all goes to hell
First three soldiers out died, fuck


Being the commander exemplifies loss of control
Sometimes you want to drown in alcohol
When your Firestorm chases
The Terror Ship in its paces
The aliens speed up slightly saying "trololol!"


Plasma beams finally give you hope
Because their damage and range is dope
They kill everything
Except the last thing
The Battleship is like "NOPE"


I once met a Sectoid from Mars
Who showed me all of his battle scars
His look was intense
His pain was immense
He said "I'm as bad in combat as you are at finishing limericks."