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XPiratez / Re: Uber Piratey Squad Inaction (Collaborative AAR)
« on: June 28, 2019, 02:12:29 am »
1st July
This is my story. I’ve been ditched in a holding cell for days, perhaps even weeks. There are others like me down here, discarded like a pile of garbage. Today turned out differently though, as a group of ‘lil runts brought myself and others out of the cells.
We were given a choice. We could either walk out, work an honest job for honest wages in this pirate hideout, or join the crew. A deal was made and we got our first decent meal in ages.
Part way through the Captain with fiery red hair bursts in. She scolds a bunch of runts for not properly cleaning up after their last gambling session and to get rid of the useless trophies lying about the place. She tells us how we ‘need to be more offensive’, calls us a bunch of dweebs, then leaves. Some runts look at each other and shrug, but at the end of the day a collection of tribal weapons and terrible guns are sold off, six smelly rags get disposed of (why did we have these?), some piles of junk get processed and an order for a hundred black powder bombs is placed.
We're awash for cold hard cash and the Captain strong arms the decision to buy a new car. She instructs the runts that we 'need to be more offensive' and that they are to bolt dual 25mm cannons to it. We'll have a ramshackle car with enough firepower to level a small village. Madness! This is going to be my new home.
As for us new arrivals? There's three of us altogether and the Captain has told us we'll be set to work immediately to prove our worth.
There’s a ratman village some hours away. The three of us are sent there to prove our loyalties, whilst being observed by two veterans. Rockin Hammer and Pretty Melissa deck out in barbarian armour with shields and sawn offs, whilst all I get is a stupid outfit, a pistol and some ancient black powder explosives. Hammer and Melissa soon get to work in direct assaults, blasting ratmen away at close range. Meanwhile, Evil Gun sets up a firing position from behind her machine gun and tac vest. Our dog tracks targets to pursue, but is put down with a double barrel shotgun. I suddenly lose the mood to run around corners and risk a ratman reaction, so I just flatten the place (and some unfortunate ratties) with explosions. The mission ends without trouble, although Evil Gun does receive a single dog bite. She takes two days off because of it. In the end we capture three ratmen, including their leader, as well as a dog.
3rd July
Radar runt got chewed out today. A radar contact is spotted in the area, but after flying up close with the car, it turns out to be a combine harvester. There’s not a lot of money to be made in agriculture equipment and hostage farmers, so we leave them alone and spare the 25mm ammo.
4th July
Radar runt got chewed out today. After flying close enough we see that it’s a police car on patrol. A low value target that shoots back! We leave them well enough alone.
Later that day:
Distress call in the Sahara desert! It’s the trade guild. We don’t know how they ended up in that situation, but we do know they’re close to home and an easy target. The Captain assigns a mostly veteran crew to ‘help them out of the desert’. After a short mission they bag some prisoners, including a sailor.
Later that day, again:
Captain informs us that Jack has invited us to an aircar race to Memory of Earth, in Steel Pact territory. Some of the gals immediately make a break for the aircar. Radar runt giggles quietly to herself. After a quick chat, she tells me that Steel Pact is in ol' South America and that the ramshackle aircar we have doesn't stand a chance of making it there in time.
5th July
Radar runt got chewed out today. She found the combine harvester again. This time it lands, so the Captain puts together a crew to make sure it never flies onto the radar screen ever again. ‘Just tryna do ‘muh job’, radar runt mutters.
The brainers retool their work and drag prisoners into the lab wholesale. We've ran out of prison space entirely now.
11th July
The Captain got word of another uber gal in captivity. Again, she says that we ‘need to be more offensive’, so she elects to get involved in this one. We take the bus and put down directly at the address to spring the captive. After a curt volley of fire, we storm the place. The Captain leads the way and ends up punching two tough guys unconscious.
12th July
We pay the Trader's Guild a visit. The target is small warehouse in the desert nearby. Evil Gun positions herself on a nearby hill whilst everyone else stacks up against the warehouse walls, before launching the assault. We blow up the fence with a black powder bomb and chuck some more at the guards inside the compound. The prisons are still completely full, but it's the contents of the warehouse we're after, not the people.
Later that day:
Captain informs us that a local government has offered us a contract to extract one of their agents. Only problem is that the client is based in the Death Realms of ol' Australia. Radar runt crunches some numbers and tells us we can't even make it there.
13th July.
Radar runt doesn’t get chewed out today. We take the car to shoot down a paradizo cloudcar. Easy pickings!
18th July.
The Academy are broadcasting an SOS from the Himalayas. The prisons are overflowing still and it’s too cold to run around and simply handle everyone. The Captain tells us to pacify any resistance and pick through their belongings instead. The Captain and Evil Gun swap out and Sweet Phoenix and 'some other dweeb' are cycled in their place. Sweet Phoenix's weapon of choice turns out to be an assault cannon, which she used to chuck pyro cannonballs about with reckless abandon. Something about trying to keep us warm whilst we work in the mountains.
19th July
The Captain commissions a new hideout in North America, justifying it by saying ‘we need to be more offensive’. From what I’ve heard it’s just a run down hole-in-the-ground that grows cash crops. Probably should have done this at the start of the month, but I don't tell the Captain that. I don't want to get chewed out. That's radar runt's role, to be in the barrel.
21st July
Radar runt doesn’t get chewed out today. The car forces a civilian airbus to land. We park our bus nearby to ‘assist’. Easy money!
22nd July
Legionite is finally back, having recovered from her injuries. She’s decked out in some new metal armour that the brainers and runts have slapped together. Her first action is to grab her sword, grab some gals with barbarian shields and scale mail, and take them to clear out a rat infested cellar. They’re an odd bunch to look at, with their antiquated armour and semi automatic pistols.
Later that night, the same group fly off after the Captain assigns them to pick up another uber gal captive. Apparently this one is in the hands of some tribal savages. They come back empty handed however, saying they had no luck in finding the captive. Something doesn’t add up here.
Even later, somewhere in the Kingdom of Canada, we raid a Church of Sirius. The Captain attends in person to make up for the flop that was last mission. It’s slow, slow work sweeping through the residential area, but the team subdues almost everyone there for excellent ransom money. A couple of neophytes were dropped at range with rifle fire as they carried a heavy shotgun and a Molotov.
29th July
The brainers take the ‘we need to be more offensive’ mantra to heart and have instructed the runts on how to put the prisoners to work. Whilst it helps to reduce the prison population and gives the prisoners a safe ‘occupation’, I don’t think this is quite what the Captain had in mind. Either way I’m happy I joined the crew as a fighter before they dreamed up this idea.
31st July
Well, that's the first month with this group of pirates. The Captain seems quite pleased with the progress made this month. Hopefully our fortune will last.
((I'll post August either tomorrow or Saturday. Stay tuned because someone in the crew outright dies. Fun!))
This is my story. I’ve been ditched in a holding cell for days, perhaps even weeks. There are others like me down here, discarded like a pile of garbage. Today turned out differently though, as a group of ‘lil runts brought myself and others out of the cells.
Spoiler:
Part way through the Captain with fiery red hair bursts in. She scolds a bunch of runts for not properly cleaning up after their last gambling session and to get rid of the useless trophies lying about the place. She tells us how we ‘need to be more offensive’, calls us a bunch of dweebs, then leaves. Some runts look at each other and shrug, but at the end of the day a collection of tribal weapons and terrible guns are sold off, six smelly rags get disposed of (why did we have these?), some piles of junk get processed and an order for a hundred black powder bombs is placed.
Spoiler:
Spoiler:
Spoiler:
We're awash for cold hard cash and the Captain strong arms the decision to buy a new car. She instructs the runts that we 'need to be more offensive' and that they are to bolt dual 25mm cannons to it. We'll have a ramshackle car with enough firepower to level a small village. Madness! This is going to be my new home.
As for us new arrivals? There's three of us altogether and the Captain has told us we'll be set to work immediately to prove our worth.
Spoiler:
There’s a ratman village some hours away. The three of us are sent there to prove our loyalties, whilst being observed by two veterans. Rockin Hammer and Pretty Melissa deck out in barbarian armour with shields and sawn offs, whilst all I get is a stupid outfit, a pistol and some ancient black powder explosives. Hammer and Melissa soon get to work in direct assaults, blasting ratmen away at close range. Meanwhile, Evil Gun sets up a firing position from behind her machine gun and tac vest. Our dog tracks targets to pursue, but is put down with a double barrel shotgun. I suddenly lose the mood to run around corners and risk a ratman reaction, so I just flatten the place (and some unfortunate ratties) with explosions. The mission ends without trouble, although Evil Gun does receive a single dog bite. She takes two days off because of it. In the end we capture three ratmen, including their leader, as well as a dog.
Spoiler:
3rd July
Radar runt got chewed out today. A radar contact is spotted in the area, but after flying up close with the car, it turns out to be a combine harvester. There’s not a lot of money to be made in agriculture equipment and hostage farmers, so we leave them alone and spare the 25mm ammo.
4th July
Radar runt got chewed out today. After flying close enough we see that it’s a police car on patrol. A low value target that shoots back! We leave them well enough alone.
Later that day:
Distress call in the Sahara desert! It’s the trade guild. We don’t know how they ended up in that situation, but we do know they’re close to home and an easy target. The Captain assigns a mostly veteran crew to ‘help them out of the desert’. After a short mission they bag some prisoners, including a sailor.
Spoiler:
Later that day, again:
Captain informs us that Jack has invited us to an aircar race to Memory of Earth, in Steel Pact territory. Some of the gals immediately make a break for the aircar. Radar runt giggles quietly to herself. After a quick chat, she tells me that Steel Pact is in ol' South America and that the ramshackle aircar we have doesn't stand a chance of making it there in time.
5th July
Radar runt got chewed out today. She found the combine harvester again. This time it lands, so the Captain puts together a crew to make sure it never flies onto the radar screen ever again. ‘Just tryna do ‘muh job’, radar runt mutters.
Spoiler:
11th July
The Captain got word of another uber gal in captivity. Again, she says that we ‘need to be more offensive’, so she elects to get involved in this one. We take the bus and put down directly at the address to spring the captive. After a curt volley of fire, we storm the place. The Captain leads the way and ends up punching two tough guys unconscious.
Spoiler:
12th July
We pay the Trader's Guild a visit. The target is small warehouse in the desert nearby. Evil Gun positions herself on a nearby hill whilst everyone else stacks up against the warehouse walls, before launching the assault. We blow up the fence with a black powder bomb and chuck some more at the guards inside the compound. The prisons are still completely full, but it's the contents of the warehouse we're after, not the people.
Spoiler:
Later that day:
Captain informs us that a local government has offered us a contract to extract one of their agents. Only problem is that the client is based in the Death Realms of ol' Australia. Radar runt crunches some numbers and tells us we can't even make it there.
13th July.
Radar runt doesn’t get chewed out today. We take the car to shoot down a paradizo cloudcar. Easy pickings!
18th July.
The Academy are broadcasting an SOS from the Himalayas. The prisons are overflowing still and it’s too cold to run around and simply handle everyone. The Captain tells us to pacify any resistance and pick through their belongings instead. The Captain and Evil Gun swap out and Sweet Phoenix and 'some other dweeb' are cycled in their place. Sweet Phoenix's weapon of choice turns out to be an assault cannon, which she used to chuck pyro cannonballs about with reckless abandon. Something about trying to keep us warm whilst we work in the mountains.
Spoiler:
19th July
The Captain commissions a new hideout in North America, justifying it by saying ‘we need to be more offensive’. From what I’ve heard it’s just a run down hole-in-the-ground that grows cash crops. Probably should have done this at the start of the month, but I don't tell the Captain that. I don't want to get chewed out. That's radar runt's role, to be in the barrel.
Spoiler:
21st July
Radar runt doesn’t get chewed out today. The car forces a civilian airbus to land. We park our bus nearby to ‘assist’. Easy money!
Spoiler:
22nd July
Legionite is finally back, having recovered from her injuries. She’s decked out in some new metal armour that the brainers and runts have slapped together. Her first action is to grab her sword, grab some gals with barbarian shields and scale mail, and take them to clear out a rat infested cellar. They’re an odd bunch to look at, with their antiquated armour and semi automatic pistols.
Spoiler:
Later that night, the same group fly off after the Captain assigns them to pick up another uber gal captive. Apparently this one is in the hands of some tribal savages. They come back empty handed however, saying they had no luck in finding the captive. Something doesn’t add up here.
Spoiler:
Even later, somewhere in the Kingdom of Canada, we raid a Church of Sirius. The Captain attends in person to make up for the flop that was last mission. It’s slow, slow work sweeping through the residential area, but the team subdues almost everyone there for excellent ransom money. A couple of neophytes were dropped at range with rifle fire as they carried a heavy shotgun and a Molotov.
Spoiler:
29th July
The brainers take the ‘we need to be more offensive’ mantra to heart and have instructed the runts on how to put the prisoners to work. Whilst it helps to reduce the prison population and gives the prisoners a safe ‘occupation’, I don’t think this is quite what the Captain had in mind. Either way I’m happy I joined the crew as a fighter before they dreamed up this idea.
Spoiler:
31st July
Well, that's the first month with this group of pirates. The Captain seems quite pleased with the progress made this month. Hopefully our fortune will last.
Spoiler:
((I'll post August either tomorrow or Saturday. Stay tuned because someone in the crew outright dies. Fun!))