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Messages - Iazo

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XPiratez / Re: Succesion-Style Collaborative X-Piratez Let's play!
« on: August 15, 2019, 09:03:37 am »
We are closing up on our first complete pass through the roster.

As a note, there were certainly too many signups, because players starting dropping in the second half. For sure, the next game I organize will have either fewer players or shorter turns!

XPiratez / Re: Bugs & Crash Reports
« on: July 19, 2019, 08:22:21 am »
Are you using armors that are appropriate for underwater?

XPiratez / Re: Bugs & Crash Reports
« on: July 16, 2019, 03:06:24 pm »
Intelligent zombies (singer, strix) are intended to panic when on fire. Also they can surrender.

XPiratez / Re: [MAIN] XPiratez - J5 - 11 Jun - Applied Chromatics
« on: July 16, 2019, 11:50:12 am »
While superhuman ironman is doable, and even doable without any losses, you have to know what you're doing.

The necropirate raid requires luck and risk management, bikes are an EXTREMELY bad ship, especially on JS, ESPECIALLY on a pogrom, and the humanist armory requires strong weapons, personal armor, good melee skils and/or lots of camping. Also convoy bad.

XPiratez / Re: Succesion-Style Collaborative X-Piratez Let's play!
« on: July 13, 2019, 01:46:42 pm »
I don't think I'll accept more people now, it's difficult getting the people I already have to write. Besides, I'm not sure how long the queue is gonna be. There's already close to 2 months wait time to get the turn back.

XPiratez / Re: A thread for little questions
« on: July 10, 2019, 09:08:29 pm »
Congratuations, now you found out why it's a bad idea to do deals with an evil corporation mega-state without reading the fine print.

XPiratez / Re: Succesion-Style Collaborative X-Piratez Let's play!
« on: June 25, 2019, 06:59:12 am »
Ok, for anyone who missed it, I regularily attach savegames to the top post. It's a bit ahead than the written reports, so you can check how our favourite band of naked misfits is doing.

XPiratez / Re: A thread for little questions
« on: June 20, 2019, 02:42:55 pm »
Cause racism.

XPiratez / Re: Bugs & Crash Reports
« on: June 20, 2019, 12:20:52 pm »
I am lead to understand that weather forecasts are not 100% accurate. Just like real life!

XPiratez / Re: Uber Piratey Squad Inaction (Collaborative AAR)
« on: June 17, 2019, 01:32:20 pm »

(You can always check out the savegames yourself. I forgot to make a science report, but it would be pretty straightforward to load the game and look in the guts. The saves are attached to the other thread.)

XPiratez / Re: Uber Piratey Squad Inaction (Collaborative AAR)
« on: June 17, 2019, 11:26:37 am »

(Admiral Suit from gold codex.)

XPiratez / Re: Uber Piratey Squad Inaction (Collaborative AAR)
« on: June 16, 2019, 09:16:02 pm »
Feb 21, Year 1

This will be hopefully my final entry. By the time the bastards realize what I've done, it'll be too late to catch me. Maybe they won't even care. But to the next gal who's gonna read these things and try to herd this army of willful cats, good luck. You're gonna need it.

First skirmish against the Guild. Given the fact that the last operation of this time went so well, I only protested mildly at the recklessness.

With about half of the gals confined to 'bed rest' by the brainers, some of the new recruits were taken along. Nothing noteworthy happened.


Runts finally managed to see what the tiny drill was about. Apparently, the original brainers' own damaged ship is still serviceable, and the drill is a key to access a choice of the more damaged sections. In an act of uncharacteristic deference, I got to choose which of the damaged sections we would be accessing. Given the fact that the brainers are sucking the life out of me, I chose the section with the treasury. Everyone called me a Magnificent Queen. Twerps. Wonder what they'd call me if I could not afford paying for their booze and whores.

Later, again:

Shit hit the fan. Again. Radar runt ran in screaming about how a Cutter has landed practically in our backyard and they're likely looking for us. Gals dropped everything and rushed to the airbus (in various states of undress, as that is any surprise to anybody by now). What was a surprise was Savage Basilisk prancing around in MY clothes...I have no words. Hope she won't blow my plan up. I had to let her in on the secret. She's insane, but readily agreed.

The second more unpleasant surprise is that they left so fast, they didn't take doggo out for a walk. Now I have a pissed off doggo and they're one crewmember short. That'll bite them in the butt for sure.

Academy grunts, armed to the teeth. Hope that cattle prod will help you, Flogging Azura.

Well, what do you know.

Rosy Iria ate some shots to the gut, so she plopped down on the floor and started eating raw meat: "Adrenalin helps rapid healing boss."... I have no words.


I think meat eating might be contagious, to be perfectly honest.

Despite my misgiving, it DOES seem to provide rapid healing. Also, that is NOT how you use a sniper rifle, goddamn.

Well, no use in getting rapid healed if YOU'RE JUST GONNA GET SHOT AGAIN.

Jack is gonna be super stoked about this. An intact cutter? Also, there were some real important academy on board, we've really pissed them off. Mission...accomplished?

Feb 23

Someone broadcast a distress signal on an unsecured channel. A fellow gal beset by some evil bandits! Fear not nubile lady for we are here to save you from being raped by bandits and have you be raped by brainers and runts instead. I don't think she protested vigorously enough though.

Feb 27

Well, this is interesting. Apparently, we're gangsters now. A bank found out about our 'services' so it hired us to protect some schmuck's red barn. "It would be a shame if something explosive happened to it."

I expressed my dissatisfaction, but no one listened to me.

The farmer expressed his dissatisfaction too, quite vehemently I fear.

"Oh dear, such terrible shame you could not protect that red barn. Don't worry, I'm sure you'll do better next time."

Feb 27, later

A new target of opportunity. A lightly defended Guild warehouse.

It's time. While everyone is either languishing in bed or being sent off to bonk some Guild's warehouse defenders on the head, I'll slip out. Skimmed enough funds off the top to buy a new identity from Jack. I'll settle in his town. I'd run farther away, but I can't bee too far from Savage Basilisk...I promised I'll do WHATEVER she wants so long as she acts like me around the base for the next few hours/days. And....well...I think I kinda maybe a bit like her. A bit. She'll be close for a visit every now and then. The deception will not last long, but all she has to do is be in my bed at midnight when head brainless is barging in and runs her mouth about something or other. It would be enough for me to get settled in.

To the next schmuck who gets roped into being an expensive figurehead, good luck. You'll gonna need it.


PS: I set up an automated overview report of the base. A bit of courtesy.


XPiratez / Re: Uber Piratey Squad Inaction (Collaborative AAR)
« on: June 16, 2019, 10:57:51 am »
Captain's log, Month 2, Day 7, Y1

Well, today was a new one. Received a tip from an anonymous party that a prisoner is being held against her will in a brothel in Tower of Souls. To be fair, it was not the first time we received such a message, but this one was actually in range of the Airbus, so I had the gals check it out.

Surprisingly, the message was true. A bandit-run brother was keeping an uber gal as the main attraction. Guess the attraction was so good that it attracted an airbus full with other uber gals, harharhar.

The fight was pretty uneventful, or so the gals tell me. The only noteworthy thing is that they recovered a large caliber Magnum gun from one of the bandits. Oh, and the Uber gal. Runts got around 'recruiting' her as soon as they arrived.

In other news, the head brainless actually barged in today screaming something about fire. I was about to panic, but she tossed me a red cannonball. Fucking dweebs. What would have happened if I didn't catch it? Boggles the mind at the lack of foresight.

Day 9

IT HAPPENED. IT FINALLY HAPPENED. I told them so many times but noooo, anyone listen to poor ol' Skeleton? Nope they don't. Another signal on the radar, and the dweebs were in full hurry to get there. Didn't even listen to the radar runt when she told them that this one is larger than an airbus. 5 of them ran off, pants in hand, and they dragged a poor mangy mutt along with them.

Fucking surprise!

Guys in personal armor and machineguns were waiting for them. It was a trap, Academy learned their lesson! It was a fucking trap, and two of them were tits out, swinging cattle prods. I hate them SO MUCH.

Tempting Ivy ate a serious shot in the gut which strangely only seemed to enrage her further.

Velvet gloves were off and lethal firepower was employed.

Savage Basilisk didn't care that she was naked, but at least she had the good sense to retreat when outmatched.

Ultimately, it didn't seem that these guys are especially fireproof, so they panicked after being pelted with Molotovs.

In the end, the casualty list for us was short. Only Tempting Ivy looks like she had a bad day, but the brainers say that they'll have to keep her under 'observation' for about 40 days. The good news is that we scored quite a bit of equipment, and Jack was ecstatic, saying that a Runabout is worth quite a bit of money.

The equipment is the good part. Frankly, I started to become a bit concerned about the gals, always running off, bat in hand. I actually had the runts hide some extra guns in the Airbus. Y'know...for emergencies.

DAY 10

Today the brainers presented the gal we saved for inspection. She was pretty composed for someone who went through hell.

Other than that, a representative from someone calling themselves "The Mutant Alliance" called. I heard of them, they want to protect mutants and freaks like us from random hate attacks, which I think is a worthy goal...but everyone has an ulterior motive. In any case, they wanted something simple enough. Break up a drunken party of some people they called Humanists, responsible for murder, and summarily execute them.

The gals MOSTLY listened to me when I asked that the humanists be brought back alive. Accidents happen, y'know? We're not hitwomen for hire, and I've no reason to trust anyone selling us a sob story, but oddly enough, seems the Mutant Alliance were not lying about these guys. Nasty pieces of work

Day 10, but later.

Okay, this one was....odd. Guy from Jack's town shows up at the door. Says they got good information that there's gonna be a human sacrifice in the jungle soon. I asked how the fuck would he know that, but he just shrugged and said that he doesn't care if we believe or not, it's a favour Jack bestowed on us for selling him the Academy Runabout, and we'd better get a move on before all we get to rescue is a bunch of entrails.

Fucking cryptic mooks. Gals got dressed and left.

The situation was pretty grim. Gals got showered with poisoned darts as soon as they stepped off the airbus, and the natives were in no mood to communicate, negotiate, or otherwise be reasonable. So, gals engaged in the universal language everyone understands, violence. (Fucking hell, I sound like one of those brainers right now.)

I have got to get rid of those pieces of crap. Gals like them but they're useless.

This one is not much better.

Savage Basilisk being Savage Basilisk. When everything fails, try fire.

Father Rip and Shred is up. When fire fails, try some stabbing?

  I have to ask, what the fuck are those natives made of?!?! No less than 14 puncture wounds and still alive?

DISASTER. Savage Basilisk fired the cannon inside. "Sorry boss, I slipped." Fucking idiots. Everyone is wounded. Amazingly enough, no one died, not even Doggo.

This was a horrifying slog. Gals had enough good luck today that no one died, and they came back with the captive in one piece.

As a reward for their good work, I allowed them to have a party. Gal they rescued was pretty 'thankful' too.

I am exhausted, but my plan is almost complete. They will not expect a thing.

XPiratez / Re: Bugs & Crash Reports
« on: June 15, 2019, 11:53:44 pm »
Have you researched the Humanist trophy and built the gambling building required for redeeming coupons?

Edit: Looked into your savegame. Your assasination trophy manufacture is in the Hidden tab in manufacturing, you must have hidden it by mistake. As for reclaiming the coupons, you are missing the required research for reclaiming them. You have the facility needed, but are missing some research.

XPiratez / Re: Uber Piratey Squad Inaction (Collaborative AAR)
« on: June 15, 2019, 12:35:32 pm »
Log, Day 9:

Base was in a ruckus again, gals took the airbus to chase some guy in a two-seater. No luck. Might as well, the list of probably illegal stuff we did is getting kinda long.

Day 10 (really late):

Another Academy airbus. This time I actually got to order the gals to go get it. Note to self: Order them to put clothes on next time. All I got was "Yes ma'am!" and they all ran off in various stages of undress.

The reports from the field were...disgusting. They landed in a swamp and apparently they had entirely too much fun 'wrestling' the nurses around in the mud.

They came back tracking mud all over the barracks, entirely too pleased with themselves. Apparently the consensus is that this is some kind of game to them. One of these days one will them will come with a bullet in the head, and they'll fucking blame me, I just know it.

Day 11:

Head Brainer barged in today. She said that the brainers have...'researched' the two saved gals thoroughly. And that they asked the runts to 'recruit' them too. I swear, does everything have to be a sexual innuendo around here?

All that's left is for me to meet the two new dweebs.

They don't seem very impressive to me, but then again they had the good sense of not charging out of the house to get diced by the dudes with cutlasses, so I count that as a win.

Anyway, after that Head Brainer droned on and on about all kinds of random stuff, and even asked me if I thought gals are superior? What kind of question is that? Like, duh, of course we are superior, everyone knows that. After that, she said she wants some dogs around. Fine by me, maybe the gals will learn how to behave if they have some positive examples around.

Captain's Log: day 23.

I have been neglecting writing in here. To be fair, nothing much happened these days. It was pretty quiet, and I've had time to get...'acquainted' with Savage Basilisk. (Oh no, I'm doing it too, now.) She's really intense and fun, but I worry that eventually she'll cut off my face and wear it as a skinsuit. But I have a plan.

The crazy chainsaw gal informed me today that she wants to be known as Pere Kryl from now on. That it's a revered name in one of the old earth languages meaning 'father rip and tear'. I wanted to tell her she can't be a father of anything without the equipment, but I remembered she has a chainsaw. Good choice.

Other than that, nothing much happened except the brainer gal barging in at exactly midnight every night and yelling at me about some random thing or other. Usually it's a random mix of esoteric philosophy, and practical knowledge everyone should know.

I gave the order for the runts to dig a new swimming pool. All I got in return was "Yes m'am, one extractor coming right up!" I wanted to say something, but they left running before I could get a word edgewise. I sense a trend in here.

I've been told that another airbus has been sighted. I only got word after people were already en-route. I only wonder how many of them went tits-out this time.

I'm way past caring. I'm just happy that Jack is paying us for all these airbuses. At least I will be able to pay the salaries of everyone that is dicking around....cause me and the gals won't see a cent.

Day 27:

Field trip? FIELD TRIP? I've woken up today to the sound of giggling. Runts and brainers huddled around the radio, egging the gals on. Apparently, they took the airbus on a 'retaliation' against the Academy.

Most of them went naked, because "It will strike fear in the hearts of our enemies, boss." Dipshits.

This is one of the pictures they sent back. Poor academy flunkie.

Apparently, most felt increasingly confident that they can handle ANYTHING. Still, the 4 prisoners they brought back fetched us a nice ransom. I am starting to warm up to Jack, he makes for a pretty good fence.

In order to placate me, the brainers came up with the idea of starting to annoy the Guild too. GREAT! Now we'll have two factions who want us dead.

LOG DAY 1, MONTH 2, YEAR 2601:

Well, Head Brainer barged in, dragging a ruffled government representative with her. Apparently, he's here to commend us for a job well done and to hand us a briefcase with money. While it's no treasure, I could pay everyone, and even have some leftover.

CORRECTION: HAD some leftover. Head Brainless took it all and told me another of her 'friends' will arrive soon. I tried to object, but she started showing me some graphs about how they're actually earning us money and that it makes mathematical sense to hire a full team as soon as possible. I suspect they're just blowing it all on crack and wenches.

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